


Jonnor - Now that we are what we are

by brkhrt12



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-03-26 10:29:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 23,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3847555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brkhrt12/pseuds/brkhrt12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trying to protect Connor, Jude was at first apprehensive about revealing their relationship at school. But after he and Connor share a kiss in the hallway for all to see, they now go around as an out couple. They hold hands and kiss freely, feeling no shame or fear. Their feelings for each other are growing stronger and deeper and their relationship is starting to develop a physical aspect evident when Jude forces a passionate kiss on Connor causing him to get a major boner.</p><p>Taylor has become a good friend and ally of he boys especially Jude.</p><p>Connor has made a new friend named Matt, a very handsome and hot soccer jock who out himself to Connor in a desperate attempt end the loneliness and isolation he was feeling because of his issues with sexuality and the fear of an intolerant father. He confided to Connor that he was having suicidal thoughts and that seeing the Jonnor kiss may have helped to save him from doing something drastic and tragic. Connor can relate to the boy and his struggles and they become best friends.</p><p>******************************<br/>A  series of chapters as life unfolds for Jonnor.</p><p>It's been a blast writing this over these weeks. Thanks for reading</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. and then it happened...

**Author's Note:**

> How they out themselves and their relationship.  
> ...and then it happened, Jonnor revealed its self with no fanfare, no hand wringing, no grand proclamation, just with a tender showing of love and affection.

Connor is back to school. He is walking around in a soft cast and with the help of a cane. His foot hasn't fully healed but he is on the mend. Its lunch time and he is sitting at the usual bench waiting for his two lunch partners. He's wishing they would hurry up because he's quite frankly starving and one of them is responsible for bringing his lunch.

"I could have starved to death if you two were any slower" he scowled with a faux indignant look on his face, which quickly turned into a broad grin.

One of the two approaching teenagers dead panned “Well I look hot in black and I have this great outfit I’m dying to wear… oh wait, you’re the one dying” that was Taylor.

“Whatever, peg leg” that was Jude.

“Oww, that hurts like a bitch or shall I say bitches” retorted Connor, emphasizing the last word.

The three laughed and settled on the bench to eat. Jude carried a tray that had lunch for two, baloney and cheese sandwiches with juice and two bags of potato chips. Taylor had some healthy stuff with a bottle of water. The three had become fast friends since the incident a Taylor’s house. Kids at school said mean things about Taylor’s dad but she found solace with Connor and Jude. They didn’t hold what happened against her and they made it a point to stand with her and that help to silence some of the vitriol that was aimed at her. And besides, she was smart and funny with a vile sense of humor and very genuine and good natured. She was also ecstatic about Jude’s and Connor’s budding relationship and guarded their secret fiercely. They were glad to have her in their corner and she was glad to have them, especially now that she and Daria were on the outs. Daria did not take Connor breaking up with her well and she was pissed that Taylor was still friendly with the two boys. They ate lunch and talked and laughed and enjoyed each other’s company.

“I have to run” said Taylor suddenly.

The boys looked at her with questions in their eyes.

“Got to do something before next period” she said as she jumped up taking her trash with her.

They both waved her goodbye and she ran off waving back.

Connor and Jude continued their lunch, talking a lot about nothing. They did that a lot, just talked, each feeding off the other, never get getting bored with each other or their banter.

“So, what’s up, how are you doing? Asked Jude, looking Connor in the eyes.

“I’m more than fine” Connor said looking at at him, a smile coming across his lips as he nodded slightly, locking his eyes on to Jude’s.

They held that look until Jude turned his eyes and head down a little, his face and his ears starting to go red. When he looked back up, he saw that Connor too was red in the face and he flickered his eyes away from Jude. Connor’s hand inched slowly across the table and came to rest on top of Jude’s. The touch made Jude feel prickly all over, like a shock and his breath suddenly became slow and labored. He was excited but suddenly nervous. What if someone saw that? He gently pulled his hand away, looking around to see if anyone was watching. Jude wasn’t afraid for himself, he was always different, he got picked on sometimes but he could deal with that. But the thought of Connor being harassed for what they were, for what they were to each other, terrified him. To see Connor hurt or miserable, he just could not bear that.

Connor looked disappointed and Jude felt like crap. He started to apologize. But Connor cut him off.

“Let’s go in” said Connor. “It’s going to take me awhile to get to my next class, might as well get a head start” he continued.

Jude got up silently and threw out their trash before quickly catching up to the slow moving and limping teenager.

In the hallway, Jude walked on Connor’s right. Connor supported his injured left foot with the cane. As they walked Jude felt Connor drape his free arm over his shoulder. It looked like he was holding on for support. No one paid them any particular attention as they navigated the long, crowed hallway. The novelty and notoriety of Connor’s injury had already worn off.

Jude whispered “I’m sorry, I’m just afraid.”

“Afraid of what exactly dude, tell me? Asked Connor, sounding a little annoyed.

He stopped and turn to Jude, looking him in the eyes.

Jude tried to explain “I don’t care what people say about me, you know that. But, you… I don’t want to be the reason people treat you… I just couldn’t live with that” his voice trailed off.

Jude felt Connor’s strong fingers squeeze into his shoulder, it hurt a little but he did not pull away as Connor had him locked into a death stare, while saying.

“You don’t have to try to protect me. I don’t care what they think. I don’t care what they say. You must know that I want to be with you."

"Jude… I think I love you.”

Jude was dumb struck, but not by choice this time. He was lost in Connor’s eyes, he was lost in the words that just came from his mouth.

“I love you” was all he managed to breath out in return.

When Connor heard that, without thinking or hesitating he moved in **and then it happened.**

He kissed Jude.

It was a gentle and slow kiss that Jude returned without apprehension. Jude’s hand moved up to Connor’s face cupping his cheek gently, his fingertips resting lightly on his ear. Connor’s hand dropped down to Jude’s slender waist, pulling him in closer.

They stood there locked together for what seemed like forever but in reality was a little less than a minute. But it was more than enough time for all the other kids in the hallway to stop and stare and gape.

“Oh my god”

“Did you see that?”

“Look!”

“Where’s my phone, I gotta get this”

The boys heard them, but they were too caught up in each other to care. They just smiled at each other, both red in the face, and limped walked off down the hallway, hand in hand, fingers intertwined.

“Nice show guys, next time I’ll sell popcorn” that was Taylor.

 


	2. that means you're taken...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Jonnor reveal at school, Connor gears up for his first confrontation but is left stunned by the strange interaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor has a very interesting conversation with a very handsome soccer player named Matt Murphy
> 
> “That means you’re….” replied Matt.  
> “I’m gay, yes, I’m gay” Connor said cutting him off abruptly, giving him a hardened look dead in the eyes.

“Ok boys, whatever happened to the whole “ keep this a secret”… thing?”

Asked Taylor as she made air quotations with her fingers. She had joined the boys on their hand in hand hobble to their next class.

“I dunno, it just happened” replied Connor.

Jude was still dumbstruck and he had the biggest, silliest grin on his face. He looked at Taylor with eyes that said; I got it bad.

“No need to answer Jude, obviously Connors’ still got your tongue” quipped Taylor.

Both boys mouths fell open in embarrassed disbelief, their faces turning deeper red.

“Anyway, about time, all these other love sick puppies around here slobbering and joined at the hips. You guys are waaay cuter” Taylor blurted out.

“Oh, I’m so happy for you guys, group hug” she said as she pulled both of them into an embrace.

By now they reached Jude’s and Taylor’s classroom, Connor had to continue to the science lab.

They stopped and Connor said “See you later at the bench, my dad is going to pick us up”

“See you there” said Jude as he squeezed Connor’s hand and raised it to his lips and gave it a peck.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow” Jude said mockingly.

“Give it a rest, Juliette, we got class” that was a Taylor.

“Hey, why I gotta be Juliette” huffed Jude with a pout and he joined her as they headed into the classroom.

Connor limped his way to the science lab, smiling to himself about Jude’s antics and Taylor’s dry humor. He was almost to the lab when he heard someone say

“Hey… Stevens”

Connor turned around to see a boy around his height and build walking towards him. The boy was handsome in a masculine but exotic way. He had tight messy curls, his skin was light pecan, his eyes were an intense hazel-green combination and he had the beginning growth of hair on his lip and chin. He was obviously multi-racial. His afro features accentuating his looks, especially his lips. He wore a Bob Marley T-shirt and cargo shorts with sports flip-flops. He had a trim, muscular, athletic build. Connor recognized him from the playground. Matt Murphy was a soccer player, a really good one and he was a popular guy a school.

“Hey Matt” said Connor as Matt walked up to him.

“So, I saw that little show earlier” Matt said.

Connor chuckled, took a deep breath and said “Okaay, and….?”

“That means you’re….” replied Matt.

“I’m gay, yes, I’m gay” Connor said cutting him off abruptly, giving him a hardened look dead in the eyes.

“Duh” said Matt. “It would be weird if you weren’t , I mean, swapping spit with that Jude kid and all” he continued. Then he stepped closer to Connor and leaned in and said in a low voice

“I was going to say, **that means you’re taken**. Dude that was freaking hot”

Connor pulled back and stared at Matt. He was kind of stunned. Did he hear what he thought he just heard. He searched Matt’s eyes for an answer.

Matt held the eye contact until he saw the look of realization on Connor’s face then he turned his eyes away and dropped his head slightly.

Connor felt badly, because he was gearing up for a confrontation but that was not what this was at all. It was really a part flirt and a subtly coming out. The flirting was dead on arrival, Connor only had eyes for Jude. But something inside him felt for Matt. He remembered what it was like before he came out to his dad.

Matt looked at him and turned to walk away.

“If you want to talk, sometime, it’s all good” said Connor.

Matt looked back and smiled a little, nodded and kept walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2. I kinda of rushed it. Got to go see the new Avengers. hope you guys like it. let me know.  
> Matt will be back. Jude will have his share of strange interactions.


	3. Jude gotta boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude and Connor have to deal with being out and being out as a couple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this on my phone while having a meal with a friend. So pardon any typos, etc.

Jude and Taylor walk into their classroom and head to their seats. The room was abuzz with the usual chorus of typical teenage chatter and laughter. As the two enter, the place goes noticeably quiet. Jude braces himself mentally but moves to take his seat as though he was unphased. Taylor was already seated she was scanning the room and faces with a look on her face that was some what like a tigress at the zoo with her cubs as she watches the throngs of curious people, waiting for someone to make a mistake. She glanced over at Jude to see how he was holding up, he had settled into his seat and was getting his books and stuff ready for class. The teacher was not there yet so this was the time when most of the acting up usually happens.

"So Jude" said a girls voice from the left of Jude.  
"I hear you put on quite the show out in the hall earlier" she added.

Jude turned to Beth Copeland who was the person addressing him.

"What show?" Jude asked nonchalantly.  
He knew where this was going. By now the other kids were all looking in their direction.

"You know, the one where you were sucking face with Connor Stevens. A boy?"  
She queried but sounding more like indicting.

There were gasped of surprise and incredulity sprinkling the classroom.

"Yeah, that. It wasn't a show. That was me kissing my boyfriend. And yep he's definitely a boy. A really cute one at that" said Jude cooly.

"What about it?" He added.

Beth did not have a response, so she said nothing.

"I always knew he was a weirdo, Now he's a queer"  
said a voice from the back of the classroom.

Jude recognized the boy's voice. It was that awful curly haired boy that bullied him when he first wore the blue nail polish. But Jude wasn't scared. Today Connor Stevens had proved without a doubt that he wasn't afraid. That he wasn't ashamed of who they were and what the had with each other. Neither was he. Jude turned to address the boy. But before he could get a word out.

"So what. You jealous. Wish he was kissing you? Oh, wait, that wouldn't happen , everybody knows your breath smells like a public toilet"  
that was Taylor, voice chiming above the rest.

The room was suddenly full of giggles and oh my gods.

"You better" said the curly haired boy.

"Better what?" Taylor cut him off.

"You better remember I'm the girl with the psyco dad that likes to shoot people" she spat out.

"Oooo" the whole class chorused in unison.

"OK everybody take your seats and quiet down" that was the teacher.


	4. Boys like us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has a heart to heart talk with Matt Murphy.
> 
> “You waiting for your… that kid?” Matt asked.
> 
> “Jude” Connor said “My boyfriend” he ended.
> 
> Matt looked up at him and nodded. Then he said “lucky him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor finds out why Matt chose to open up to him.
> 
> "Boys like me, like us, we can’t be like that" said Matt.

 

What an interesting day at school Connor thought to himself. It was a free period for him and he was sitting by the bench waiting for Jude. He mulled over the events of the day in his mind. His big secret was no longer a secret. He had kissed Jude for all to see. He was surer than ever that Jude was the one. What is it about that little dude? He thought. He had many questions bouncing around in his head, he wasn’t certain of all the answers but one thing was for sure; the moment he kissed Jude at school today, he found a resolve that was never going to be shaken or mired in fear and self-doubt again. He had said out loud that he was gay and he was not afraid or ashamed. He was feeling freer than ever. He had come into his own.

His thoughts shifted to the weird thing that happened between him and Matt Murphy. What was that? Why did Matt do what he did? Why did he choose me to open up to?

“Playing hookie Stevens?”

Connor heard someone say, breaking him out of his head trip.

“Oh my god, I thought him up” Connor thought as he turned around to see Matt standing behind him.

“Hi Matt, no, free period, just waiting for someone” Connor said. “Are you cutting “Connor queried.

“No, no, free period too, just killing time till my Dad picks me up” replied Matt, shrugging his shoulders.

Connor noticed that he seemed a little hesitant and a little anxious and he was looking down at his feet.

“You waiting for your… that kid?” Matt asked.

“Jude” Connor said “My boyfriend” he ended.

Matt looked up at him and nodded. Then he said “lucky him.”

Connor took a deep breath and a smile came across his slips, he felt himself starting to blush. He couldn’t help it. He felt flattered.

Matt too , now realizing what he said, had an embarrassed smile and was going red from the neck up. He covered his face with one hand and quickly said “I’m sorry, awkward.”

Connor regained his composure and said “I’m pretty lucky too.”

He made a head gesture motioning Matt to sit. Matt obliged.

“Matt, why did you … you know … earlier” asked Connor cautiously.

“Out myself?” Matt said softly, looking down at his feet again.

“Yeah, that” said Connor, thankful he didn’t have to spell it out.

Matt replied “I was just so tired of bottling all this up. I just felt so alone and isolated.

I mean here I am “Matt Murphy the soccer jock” and I’m pretty sure I like boys.

Who can I talk to about what I’m thinking and feeling?

 **Boys** like me, **like us** , we can’t be like that.

Then I saw you and that Jude kid in the hall.

I could never be that brave.

Even if I wanted to be, my Dad would kill me.

I just thought a guy like you would understand that.”

“You’re right Stevens. You’re lucky to have someone you can be yourself with” Matt said with a sigh.

Connor did understand all too well. He could feel the anguish coming from Matt. He also knew he could never go back there again.

“I know exactly what that’s like” said Connor.

“What’s this thing with Dads, huh?” Connor added.

“You know my dad was like that too, at first, he even tried to keep me and Jude apart” Connor took a deep breath and started to recount the story of him and his dad.

 


	5. father and son (flash back)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor recalls for Matt a defining moment with his dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter one of another story I wrote before. I thought it would fit this (collection?).
> 
> Keep in mind that Connor couldn't have known what his fathers' thoughts were. But I'm too lazy to edit them out.

Connor feels somehow comfortable talking to Matt. He hasn't had many people besides Jude and lately Taylor to talk to. He can relate to Matt because he was just like him in certain aspects. He finds himself liking the handsome boy. Maybe he could be a friend.

Matt doesn't want to tell Connor that seeing him and Jude kissing may have saved his life. He listens intently as Connor begins to recount his story. 

Connor recalls;

The door to his hospital room opened and his father stepped in and held it open. Connor saw his dad make a side step and then he saw Jude walk in. Jude looked almost angelic, Connor thought, his friend came in wrapped in a glow of light that seem to blind Connor to anything other than the boy with the slender frame standing in the middle of what seemed like a spotlight. His father step out of the room and closed the door. Jude was standing there just as he always looked; in his over-sized slouchy pullover, hands together, and that smile that always made Connor happy. Jude walked over to the bed, hands still clasped looking at him intently. Connor thought he noticed something about Jude that was different, something in his stance, something in the way he held his head; he seemed more confident and sure of himself. And most of all Connor noticed the way Jude was looking at him, with affection and pride? The smile had not left Connor’s face since the moment Jude appeared in the doorway. The odd feeling stare-down was broken when the blue on Jude’s fingers caught his eye.

“what’s this ?” Asked Connor, as he reached for Jude’s clasped hands.

Connor’s fingers caressed the back of Jude’s hand ever so subtly before he held onto it, wrapping his own larger hand gently around Jude’s so he could examine the blue painted nails, his thumb gently stroking Jude’s fingers.

“War paint” replied Jude with a smile.

Connor nodded in acknowledgement, knowing that blue nail polish was an unspoken symbol of their bond.

It was three hours later when Adam Stevens walked in to his son’s hospital room. The two boys were on the bed, leaned into each other side by side, shoulders almost touching. Connor was beaming and happy, smiling broadly and his arm was raised, finger pointing at the television they were watching. Jude was beaming with a big smile, nodding his agreement to whatever Connor was pointing out. Both of them laughing and joking happily.

“Ok boys, its late, visiting hours are over and Connor… , you need to rest” interrupted Mr. Stevens.

Jude slid off the bed reluctantly and turned to Connor and said

“I guess I should go home now, see you tomorrow?”

They both looked at Mr. Stevens with questioning eyes and when he nodded, they both breathed out in relief. Again they were beaming.

Jude walked pass Connor’s father and just as he went through the door he turned around and said

“Mr. Stevens… thank you” then he left.

Adam talked to Connor for little while. Connor mostly listened. After he said good night to his son and turned to walk away he heard the boy say

“Dad don’t leave…please”.

He turned around to see Connor looking at him with a pained, almost fearful expression on his face. He walked over to the bed with a look of concern wrinkling his brows. Connor scooted over on his bed and motioned him to sit. He paused, then he sat, not really looking at the boy. He felt Connor scoot back over closer to him then he felt Connor wrap his arms around him and bury his face in his shirt. He heard the start of soft sobs and felt his son’s body shake with each one. He looked down to see tears streaming down Connor’s face and then he heard his son speak the words that made his breath stop in his throat and that pierced him through his core like a jagged knife plunged deep.

“Dad, I love you… so much."

"Thanks for letting me see Jude."

" I really like him, Dad”

“I know you don’t understand that and that you’re disappointed by what I told you. But this is how I feel, this is who I am. I don’t want to lie to you or anyone anymore."

"I’m still your Connor, please don’t shut me out”.

In that instant Adam’s mind when back to a time when things were different for them, things were good with Connor’s mother and they were a family. He would come home to this blonde bundle of energy and love, who would run to meet him and latch himself onto his leg like Velcro. He would stumble into the house with the squealing tyke still clinging to his leg. Where did that go, when did that disappear and so fast? When did he become so distant from the boy who now clung to his side as if he was holding on for dear life. The boy who was now sobbing and begging for his father to do nothing more than love him back, love him still. Adam was somewhat relieved that Connor was not seeing the tears well up in his eyes. He hugged the crying boy and kissed the top of his head like he used to when he was little. He thought; what am I doing? I’m his father I’m supposed to protect him. He’s supposed to feel safe with me, feel safe to come to me. Then he said

“Connor, look at me, I’m here son, I’m here. I love you. You ARE mine and that’s never gonna change.”


	6. can I tell you something?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt confides in Connor
> 
> "Sometimes I just want it all to end.” Matt unloaded.
> 
> “When I saw you two guys kissing the way you were, right out there in the open, with everyone standing there looking, all of a sudden I didn’t feel so lonely and isolated and freakish."

Connor had finished telling Matt about how his father had acted towards him and Jude being friends. He told him about what happened when his father found out that they were more than friends and how that led up to the reconciliation in the hospital on the night he was allowed to see Jude.

“My dad is trying, you know. I don’t think he knows how much that means to me” said Connor with a smile.

Matt turned his head and looked at him, nodding silently.

“My dad would disown me if I told him what’s going on with me, if he didn’t kill me first” Matt said looking at Connor with a look in his eyes that frightened him.

Connor saw so much hurt and desperation in the boy’s eyes.

“ **Can I tell you something** Stevens?” Matt asked softly, clasping his hands in his lap and hanging his head.

Connor didn’t respond he just slid over on the bench closer to the visibly upset teenager.

“Sometimes I think about doing something drastic just to end it all. Anything so I don’t have to keep holding all this crap inside my head. And I don’t have to keep hearing my dad talk about how many girls he had and the things he’d done by my age. Sometimes I just want it all to end.” Matt unloaded.

“Matt you Can’t mean that.” Connor said looking at him with disbelief.

Matt looked him in the eyes and Connor saw that the boy meant it.

“It’s ok now Stevens, I think” Matt said.

“Connor, my name is Connor” Connor interjected.

“That was before today , Connor“ finished Matt.

Connor gave him a look of surprise and curiosity at the same time.

“When I saw you two guys kissing the way you were, out there in the open, with everyone standing around looking, all of a sudden I didn’t feel so lonely and isolated and freakish. I realized that there were other boys like me. You know, who people you wouldn’t think of as…” Matt stumbled.

“Gay” Connor finished for him.

“Yeah gay. I look at you and I think there might be hope for me. If I can ever figure out the dad thing” Matt said with a little laugh. His mood and demeanor perking up.

“I don’t know exactly what to say” said Connor. “As for me, I just got tired of feeling afraid, tired of trying to be the person my father wanted me to be, tired of dating someone that I really wasn’t that into.” Then pointing to his foot and continued,” After this thing happened at Taylor’s house and I was laying up in the hospital, thinking I could have been killed without letting the one person who I really liked know how I felt about him. I just came out and told my dad the truth. No pun intended. I just didn’t care anymore. I was miserable and I had enough of hiding and pretending.” Connor related.

“I can’t tell you what to do but I’m here if you need to talk sometimes, you know, if that’s alright with you.” Connor offered.

“It can only help" said Matt. Then he rested his hand on top of Connor’s.

“You know I wish I had gotten to you before…” Matt said, looking Connor in the eyes.

Connor chuckled and started to blush. The boy was handsome and very likable. Connor gently pulled his hand away.

“Like you said before, I’m taken” Connor said. He knew he only had eyes for Jude.

“Friends?” Connor asked.

“Friends, Yeah Connor, I’d like that” Matt with a smile. Then he ran off waving goodbye and got into a truck that pulled up a short while after.

 

“Who was that boy, why was he touching your hand like that?” That was Jude.

“Oh boy” sighed Connor. Then he thought,"interesting day indeed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor may have made a new friend. But Jude saw something that Connor will have to explain.  
> Stay tuned for the ride home.


	7. It's always been you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude sees Connor talking to another boy and gets jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “That was Matt, a friend, I think, maybe. You know him?” Connor said and asked Connor nonchalantly.
> 
> “I’ve seen him around, when did you guys become friends?” said and asked Jude curtly.
> 
> “Like five minutes ago, you know I think I like him” Connor said, teasing.

 

"OK everybody you can leave. Don't forget papers are due tomorrow" the teacher said and let the class out a bit early. 

Jude was ecstatic, he couldn't wait to see Connor. He was barely able to focus in the class. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened with Connor earlier. What his boyfriend said, what he did, the feeling that still lingered on his lips after that kiss. He felt this slow fire just under his skin before. It was the night Connor kissed him in the tent. He remembered how Connor's mouth engulfed his. How Connor's kiss drained the heat that had built up in his body. 

He looked over to Taylor and said 

"Call you later?" 

She nodded. She understood, he needed time with his boo. 

He was the first one out the door and he practically ran to his locker to get his book bag.

He threw the knapsack on his back and headed to the bench where he knew Connor would be waiting. 

Jude stopped dead in his track. There was Connor on the bench sitting really close to some boy, a really good looking boy. Then the boy touched Connor's hand in a way that made Jude's heart skip a beat. He stood there watching as the boy ran off smiling and waving and got into a truck. Jude walked up to Connor and started the interrogation. 

The two questions Jude asked came at Connor like missiles. 

Connor thought “Oh lord here we go.” 

He looked at Jude smiling. Jude wasn’t. He had his head cocked and his eyebrows arched the way they do when he gets upset or when he’s baffled. Both of these apply at the moment. 

“Hey Jude, you’re early” said Connor. 

“Class let out early” replied Jude in a voice that belied the maelstrom that was building up inside him. 

Connor looked at Jude with a little smirk on his face “God, he so freaking cute when he’s jealous” thought Connor. He was enjoying the moment. 

“That was Matt, a friend, I think, maybe. You know him?” Connor said and asked Connor nonchalantly. 

“I’ve seen him around, when did you guys become friends?” said and asked Jude curtly. 

“Like five minutes ago, you know I think I like him” Connor said, teasing. 

Jude eyes bulged, he had trouble breathing. He had been jealous over Connor before; when he wanted to date Maddie and when he was dating and making out with Daria. But this was different, it never felt this intense before. 

“Wh..what? “ He stuttered. “Is that why you guys were holding hands?” he rattled off. 

Connor was laughing by now, he felt bad for having led Jude on like that. 

“I’m glad you think this is funny” Jude said, in a high pitched voice, almost shouting. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Connor said “I’m just messing around with you” he added. 

“And for the record, he touched my hand” Connor stated emphatically. 

He patted the space beside him on the bench, an invitation for Jude to sit. Jude hesitated, then reluctantly moved over to the bench and sat leaving some distance between them. Connor slid over and closed the gap. Jude looked off in the distance silently with both his hands hitched in the straps of his backpack. Jude felt Connor’s hand come to rest on his thigh, he looked down to see the open, upturned hand inviting him to take it. He slid his hand down and pressed his palm into Connor's then interlocked the fingers. He felt Connor's tighten on his in a strong grip.

 He felt the warm breath on his ear, he felt the brush of soft lips, then heard 

“Jude I love…you **, it’s always been** **you**.” 

 Connor saw Jude’s body relax beside him, he felt Jude slump into his side, his head coming to rest on his shoulder. He felt the gentle brush of Jude’s lip on his ear and the warm breath as Jude spoke. 

 He heard “I... hate you.” 

Then suddenly he felt something soft, warm and wet borrow into his ear canal.

Connor screamed like a bitch as the weird sensation sent a shock through his body. 

He jump up quickly “eww that’s gross” he said as he dug a finger into his ear “I’ve got spit in my ear” he continued. 

 “Tell me about it” said Jude, spitting profusely. “I’m never doing that again” he quickly added. 

 “You think, tongue boy” Connor teased. 

They both laughed and settled back on the bench, shoulder to shoulder holding hands.

They barely noticed the other kids piling out of school as the final bell had rang. 

 “You know that Matt is a cutie. He’s really hot, especially when he playing soccer with no shirt on” Jude turned to Connor and said with a sly smile. 

“I thought you didn’t know him” said Connor flipping his brows the way he does. 

“Never said that” replied Jude. 

“Oh really, well “Mr. hottie no shirt”, he likes me” said Connor in a matter of fact way. 

“Seems gay jocks are a hot commodity at Anchor Beach” he added with a little laugh. 

“Well, lucky me” returned Jude as he buried his face into Connor’s shoulder. 

“Funny, that’s what he said” Connor whispered in Jude’s ear as he gently stroked the smaller boy’s head. "But I'm the lucky one."

“You know… I have some other places you can stick that tongue… eventually” he whispered. 

Jude didn’t respond right away he had to think about what he had just heard. 

Then it hit him. 

“Connor Stevens… you wish!!” he yelled. 


	8. something to prove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude and Connor before and during the ride home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little something something

Jude's face was beet red at the thought of what Connor had just whispered in his ear.

"You're being gross" said Jude, looking at Connor through narrowed eyes.

"Whaat... But I'm not" said Connor playfully.

"I'm just saying, a little supm supm." he added.

"We're thirteen" Jude said.

"I'm almost fourteen, thank you" Connor cut him off and puffed up his chest.

"Whatever, well, your little something isn't going any where near my little something for at least another year and a half. Maybe" said Jude.

"I'm not that kind of boy" he added, batting his eyes.

"A year and a half"said Connor. "I should have gotten Matt's numb..."

Before he could finish Jude whacked him in the shoulder.

"Oww why'd you hit me so hard? Help I'm being abused" Connor called out.

"Stop it"said Jude.

"I don't know why you're so upset. You're the one who thinks he looks hot without a shirt" said Connor.

"If you don't stop, I'm gonna put my foot up your butt"said Jude.

"Your foot? That's not what I had in mind" said Connor, then he stuck out his tongue at jude and let it hang there for a while. Then he did that eyebrow thing.

Jude's mouth fell open in disbelief. Connor quickly touched Jude's tongue with his index finger. Jude started spitting up.

"Gottcha you back" Connor chirped.

"Oh you're dead meat buddy" jude responded.

"Sorry, here comes my dad" said Connor as he jumped up and hobbled off as fast as he could.

Jude walked slowly and deliberately to the truck. He was seething.

When he got to the truck, he saw that Connor was sitting there with no shirt on, with that silly smirk on his face. Jude rolled his eyes and got in.

"Hi Mr. Stevens" Jude said.

"Hi Jude. Do I wanna know what's going on?" Said and asked Connor's dad.

"Take no notice Mr. Stevens he's being juvenile. Your son thinks he has **something** to **prove."** Jude said.

"Matt would notice" Connor muttered under his breath.

"Oww, dad he poked me" were his next words.

 


	9. everything about the boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ride home proves revealing for Jude

Adam Stevens had to endure the ride home with two noisy and playful teenagers in the back seat of his truck. And to make it worse, the traffic was horrendous. after a while he noticed how quiet it was. He glanced in the rearview and saw that the two were slumped into each other. Connor had his arm over Jude's shoulder and Jude's head rested on his chest. They were takling quietly and smiling, wrapped up in their own world. Adam smiled. It wasn't an easy road to get here but he was there. Completely there. Connor was all he had left of a failed marriage and family life that were now just a mix of good and bad memories. Connor was the one constant. He was determined that nothing would trump the love he had for his son. And, he was going to let that love guide him in his relationship with the boy. Along with the talks with and advise he got from Jude's moms.

Jude was a little apprehensive about getting so cozy with Connor for two reasons; because Mr. Stevens was right there in the front of the truck and the silly boy was still shirtless. But when Connor raised his arm signaling him to comer closer he complied. He had never been this close to  a topless Connor. He had never seen Connor topless before. Not even during their sleepovers. And there hasn't been any sleepovers since they became them. Jude tried not to let on that he was checking Connor out even as they horsed around in the back of the truck. He couldn't help it. His boyfriend's body was a sight to behold. His broadening shoulders, his chiseled abs, his bulging biceps, the freckles  here and there, Connor was a sports jock and it showed. If Connor was trying to prove something, he had, loud and clear. All that, plus he was Connor. The Connor that chose him. The Connor who was now whispering stupid, funny crap in his ear and talking endless nothing like they always did.

"Alright Jude this is you" said Mr Adams as he pulled up to the Adams-Foster residence.

Jude was fumbling with his bookbag when the truck came to a stop. He pulled out his mini ipod and quickly scrolled to the song he wanted. When he got out of the truck he said to Connor

"Listen to this."

He handed Connor the iPod and said his goodbyes quickly and ran off waving.

As the truck pulled off, Connor was perplexed "what's this?" He said to himself. He put the earbuds in. The song was already playing. The lyrics went

"it's not your fault why they hover. It's my right to be hellish. I still get jealous. Cause you're sexy, beautiful and everybody wants a taste. That's why I still get jealous."

He listened the the song on repeat all the way home.

Later that night after dinner and homework and family chitchat, Jude was sitting on his bed with his legs crossed playing his favorite game on his tablet. He had been texting back and forth with Connor during the evening. Something about him not being able to find his shirt.

Jude put down his game and reached for his bookbag. He opened the zipper and pulled out the prize. A plaid shirt that belong to a certain Connor Stevens. He smiled as he held up the shirt. He bunched it up and put it to his nose. He inhaled deeply. He closed his eyes as Connor's scent filled his nostrils. He breathed out slowly and did it again.

"What is it about that boy?" He mouthed to himself silently. He took another sniff and the answer came to him as he exhaled. **It's** **everything** **about** **the** **boy**.

He reached for his phone and tapped out a quick text and hit send. He folded the shirt and put it under the extra pillow on his bed. He turned off his bedside lamp and turned in for the night.

Connor was sitting on his bed he was getting ready to turn in. He heard his phone chime. He picked it up, he already knew it was Jude. He read the message and fell back on the bed with a big smile on his face. He had read the message and though it made him very happy, there was a part at the end that he hadn't quite figured out.

The message read "Yes. Mr hottie no shirt. A little something something, eventually. Your TB in waiting."

His mind raced trying to decipher the cryptic message. 

"Your TB in waiting?" He mouthed quietly.

He gasped and slapped his hand over his mouth and his eyes bulged open as the meaning hit him.

"Your Tongue Boy in waiting."


	10. I've Met someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has a talk with his new friend Matt who surprises him with a kiss.
> 
> And just like that Matt leaned in and kissed him.  
> When it was over, Connor pulled back and looked at Matt and asked  
> “Why did you do that Matt. You know I’m with…?” Connor started to say but Matt cut him off.  
> “You’re with Jude. I know. I’m Sorry. I just had to know. I’m not trying to come between you guys, believe me.” He said apologetically. “You kissed me back though, Why?” Matt stated and asked

It’s been a week since Jonnor was revealed . So far the boys have had a pretty easy time at school, all things considered. They walk hand in hand sometimes. They kiss at the lockers and when they have lunch. The other kids barely notice them. There has been the occasional name calling, usually uttered like rocks thrown anonymously, no one has really gotten in their faces to harass them. Some kids that used to say hi don’t speak anymore replaced by others who now had friendly greeting or smiles. The strangest part was all the girls that now smiled and said hi to them, especially Connor and the boys that now made eye contact. Even Matt who said that he couldn’t be brave enough to reveal anything about himself, spoke freely to Connor in the hallways and school yard.

It was Tuesday and Connor had his usual free period. He was at bench waiting for Jude when a familiar face came running run up. It was Matt, he had the same free period too.

“Hey Stevens… I mean Connor” he corrected when he got the look.

“What’s good Matt” replied Connor

“I gotta wait around for a little while, my dad is going to be a little late” he answered.

“Yeah, I gotta wait a whole period for Jude to get out. We’re riding home with his mom today” Connor replied.

“You gotta ride home with the assistant principal” said Matt with a scrounged face.

“Well her son is like… my boyfriend” returned Connor throwing up his hands.

“Better you than me” said Matt with a smile.

“Hey, Wanna go walk along the beach, if you can manage?” asked Matt suddenly.

“I’m injured not crippled, bro” replied Connor.

The two headed to the walking path that ran along Anchor Beach. They walked along the path for a few minutes till they came to one of the concrete benches that dotted the walkway. They sat and engaged in a pleasant, friendly conversation talking about the stuff teenagers find interesting.

Then out of nowhere, Matt slapped his hand down on Connor’s thigh and gave it a squeeze.

Connor turned his head and looked at him with a puzzled look on his face.

And just like that Matt leaned in and kissed him.

When it was over, Connor pulled back and looked at Matt and asked

“Why did you do that Matt. You know I’m with…?” Connor started to say but Matt cut him off.

“You’re with Jude. I know. I’m Sorry. I just had to know. I’m not trying to come between you guys, believe me.” He said apologetically. “You kissed me back though, Why?” Matt stated and asked.

Connor looked at him and thought for a moment, then he said “I guess I wanted to know too.”

“We’re friends, right” asked Matt.

“Yeah… I think so” replied Connor.

“Then consider it a kiss between friends. Plus I wanted to get that out of the way before I tell what I want to tell you” said Matt Smiling broadly.

“What do you want to tell me?” Asked Connor suspiciously, looking at Matt with narrowed eyes.

“Relax Steven.., Connor, I wanted to tell you I met somebody and I have you and Jude to thank for it” said Matt sounding extremely chipper.

“You did what, who, When did this happen, start spilling bro” Connor said and asked all excited.

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell” said Matt folding his arms and looking away feigning indignance.

“Kiss, You kissed already” asked Connor incredulously.

“Just once, a very looong and incredibly hot once” said Matt, turning to look at Connor with mischievous eyes.

“Damn son, you don’t waste any time” replied Connor.

“Nope” said Matt.

“Ok dude, out with the rest. Where, who, how, all that good stuff and don't leave anything out” Said and asked Connor.

“Last week Friday after soccer practice, I was feeling brave enough to have a conversation with someone I’ve been curious about for a while now. We exchanged numbers and kept texting and talking all weekend, all day, all night. God, I still can’t believe this kid wanted talk to me too. Anyway come Monday, I couldn’t wait to get to school. We met up after last period and we walked over to this very same bench. I love this bench. We were sitting here just talking. Then out of the blue he asked me if I heard about you guys and what I thought about it. And I said if you really like somebody it shouldn’t matter who they are, girl or boy. And he said, I guess you can’t really help who you fall in love with. He was just looking at me and I was looking at him and we were sitting really close. I don’t where it came from but I just kissed him. He didn’t pull away so I just kept kissing. That was the first time I kissed another boy. After that he told me he always liked to watch me play soccer especially when I wasn’t wearing a shirt.” Matt told Connor.

Connor groaned softly at the last comment “ Mr hottie no shirt the mad kisser” he muttered under his breath.

“What’s that “ asked Matt.

“Nothing, nothing . So Who is this guy? Asked Connor.

“Well, just act like you don’t know Ok, It’s obvious that I trust you. It’s someone you know. He doesn’t want anyone to know right now and neither do I. It’s still kinda early, we know we like each other but we’re taking it slow. See what happens. It’s Andy Yamotto” said Matt.

“Andy from my baseball team, Oh my god.” Connor exclaimed in disbelief. “ He’s the best pitcher on the team and he’s kinda tall” added connor.

“Yeah, he’s tall for fourteen. I like that. He does that baseball uniform some real justice” said Matt with a sly smile on his face.

“Oh, we gotta go back, last period is about to end” Connor said.

“Connor can I get your number if that’s ok, so we can talk some more. I don’t have anyone else I can talk to. About that kiss thing, we’re good right, we can still be friends right?’ Matt asked sounding kind of worried.

“Yeah bro, it’s all good. We can definitely be friends” replied Connor.

As they walked back to the school he took Matt’s phone and punched in his number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor doesn't want to keep secrets from Jude. He tells Jude something expecting Jude to be super upset but Jude surprises him in a way he won't believe.
> 
> Matt and Connor will become really good friends. So will Connor, Jude Matt and Andy.  
> Connor will get into a fist. Jude proves to be a lot pluckier than everybody thinks.
> 
> Stay tuned.


	11. now you know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor tells Jude about the kiss with Matt. He expects the worst but Jude surprises him.

Connor is sitting on their usual bench waiting for Jude. Its been two days since He shared a kiss with his friend Matt. Sure he did not asked to be kissed but he kissed back. That made him feel a bit guilty and made his mind unsettled. He doesn't like to keep things from Jude, he did once and he felt horrible about it. That time when he didn't want to tell Jude how he got the bruise over his eye and the whole situation got blown into a big deal. He had to tell Jude, it was only way to set his mind at ease. How would Jude react to the news that he kissed another boy. The kiss meant nothing to him, except that it may have satisfied a fleeting curiosity. He was in love with Jude, that he knew for sure.

"Hey babe, miss me?" asked Jude as he walked up smiling broadly and plopped himself down beside Connor.

"Hey cutie" replied Connor. "You wash your hands?" he asked.

"What? Of course I washed my hands, I always wash my hands after I take a leak" said Jude looking at Connor with puzzled eyes.

"Oh, OK, cause I was going to sniff you fingers" said Connor flipping his eyebrows.

"Connor Stevens that's gross. I don't even know why I talk to you" replied Jude, putting his hand to his face and shaking his head.

"That's why you love me" returned Connor.

"I'm starting to think about that" said Jude playfully.

There was a bit of silence and Jude looked over to see Connor with his head hanging,  looking down at his feet. Jude's brows wrinkled with a look of concern.

"Jude... you do love me don't you?" asked Connor softly not looking at him.

"Dude.. what the matter?" Jude started to ask, but he was cut off.

"Matt kissed me, I didn't want him to, I swear" blurted Connor.

Jude looked at him, speechless, then he looked away, let the information process, then he looked back at him again.

"I kinda kiss him back" Connor very softly added. "Please don't hate me." he added.

"What, why would Matt kiss you? I thought you guys were just friends?" Jude said, his pitch getting higher with each word.

"What kind of person goes around randomly kissing their friends... wait.. what do you mean you kissed him back. Why?" Jude inquired, head cocked eyebrows arched, waiting for a response.

:"He said he just had to know" replied Connor.

"Okaaay. and..?" Jude pressed for an answer

"I guess I wanted to know too" said Connor sheepishly. "Please don't hate me" he finished off rapidly.

"I had to tell you, I don't want to keep anything from you like before. It's been bothering me for two days now" Connor said.

"Two days?" Questioned Jude a little loudly.

"I didn't see you yesterday because of my doctors' appointment. I didn't want to text or tell you on the phone so today is first chance I got. I'm sorry. I told Matt we can only be friends. You have to believe me, I don't want to be with anyone but you" said Connor.

Jude knew Connor, he also knew Connor was not good at lying. The boy even came out to his father so they wouldn't have to hide what they had together.

"So, you had to know, huh" said Jude.

Connor thought Jude was going to walk away when he got up and his heart sank, he felt like crying. But Jude grabbed him by the wrist and started to drag him to a secluded spot behind one of the school yard structures. Connor offered no resistance, and once they were out of sight, he found himself being slammed up against a wall. Jude was on him full body, his legs were apart and Jude was between them pressing into him, crotch to crotch. Jude hands found his head and pulled his face down into a vigorous kiss. Jude mashed his lips into his and Connor felt the hot tongue slip into his mouth and start to probe every which way. After a while Connor felt the need to catch his breath put Jude would not break the seal of their lips nor desist from the tango his tongue was doing in Connor's mouth.  Connor felt his knees buckle, he had to hold onto Jude to stay up. And when Jude released him and he exhaled and opened his eyes, he was speechless and more in love than before.

Jude saw the look of surrender in Connor's eyes, he nodded his head in satisfaction and said

"Now you know."  

Connor was speechless, Jude had his tongue and his heart.

Jude looked down below Connor belt and smiled he grabbed him by the waist of his jeans, just above the bulge that was protruding and said

"Come on tent boy, lets go"

 

 

  

 

 

 


	12. You Make Me Feel Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude and Connor are falling deeper and deeper in love. And, they are starting to see each other in physical terms.
> 
>  
> 
> “I can’t go around like this” he said, looking down at the formidable bulge that was pushing through the front of his jeans.
> 
> "I couldn’t help loving you even if I wanted to” Jude said to Connor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sweet moment between our boys. Its a little short but at thirteen and almost fourteen I think brief moments of giving voice to feelings and emotions is apropos. 
> 
>  
> 
> This work was supposed to be a one chapter, one shot but its taken on a life of its own.
> 
> Thanks to all the readers  
> Jonnor forever Brkhrt12
> 
> Stay tuned.

“Jude, wait” said Connor when he finally found his tongue.

His tongue which felt bruised after the vigorous sucking it had just received from his boyfriend.

“I can’t go around like this” he said, looking down at the formidable bulge that was pushing through the front of his jeans.

And it wasn’t being helped by the fact that his cheeky boyfriend, who was leading him by his waistband, had a couple of fingers strategically place.

“Oh yeah, that might be kinda embarrassing” said Jude.

He stopped and turned, facing Connor. Watching as Connor reached into his pants and adjusted his erection so that it was not so conspicuous.

“Better?” Asked Connor

“Much better” replied Jude.

They looked each other in the eyes and then it hit them what this all meant and both their faces started going a deep red. A new dimension of their relationship was developing, blooming like a flower. Connor reached for Jude’s hand and they headed back to the bench.

Jude lifted Connor’s hand and put it to his face. Connor saw Jude inhale deeply.

“Oh my god, and you call me gross” wheezed Connor.

 

At the bench, the two boys enjoyed their usual banter while waiting for Jude’s mom for a ride home.

Connor was quiet for a moment, he was watching as Jude talked some of the usual chatter they share and find mutually interesting. He was observing Jude’s machinations of gestures and expressions.

“You’re not mad?” He asked, from left field. “You know, about Matt” he added.

“No, I’m really not” replied Jude, now looking at him with curiosity.

“I’m glad, because I don’t want you to have any doubts about how I feel about you and us” said Connor.

“You didn’t have to tell me that you and Matt kissed, but you did. And you didn’t have to tell me you kissed back but you told me anyway, even though it would upset me. You were honest with me and that’s what I want for us, to be honest with each other no matter what. You never stop surprising me Connor Stevens. Not since the day you wore nail polish to school. The way you look at me, you make me feel special, like a person, not a shy little freak. It bothered you enough for you to tell me. You make me feel like I matter…. to you. I couldn’t help loving you even if I wanted to” Jude said to Connor.

Connor just squeezed Jude’s hand harder, he was again speechless. He just looked at Jude with the same eyes he had when he was up against the wall. This was the second time today that Jude had sequestered his tongue and his heart.

There was no need to say much more. Connor reached over and put his arm around Jude who nuzzled his face into Connor’s neck and wrapped his arms around him. They sat there happy and at the same time afraid of what was happening inside them.


	13. Mandy in the making

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt talks to Connor about his budding relationship with Andy the boy he likes.
> 
> "He wants to make it official"

Connor no longer requires the assistance of a cane. But he still wears the soft cast on the insistence of his doctor who says his foot needs to be immobilized for another couple of weeks to ensure that the repaired tendons heal properly. After the cast is removed, the doctor recommends physical therapy two times a week for eight weeks. Not very welcomed news to Connor's ears. He doesn't however, mind the cast so much because he can wear shorts to school everyday. But he is counting down the days till it comes off because he really wants to get back to baseball. He had missed out on almost ten weeks of practice. He wonders if it will be weird when he sees Andy at practice knowing that he and Matt are secretly dating. He has seen the two hanging out together sometimes at school but he promised Matt he wouldn't let on that he knew they were a couple. Matt usually has the same free period on Tuesdays and the two friends get to catch up with each other then. Tuesday free period had become like their bro date time. They would talk about whatever came to mind, whatever was going on with them and generally share their thoughts the way good friends do. They also texted and talked on the phone to keep in touch.Their bro date usually ended when Matt's ride arrived or when Jude's last period was over. Connor was glad that Jude seemed true to the fact that he was not upset about Matt kissing him several weeks earlier. He even encouraged their friendship, especially after Connor shared what Matt told him about his suicidal thoughts and that Matt was really interested in someone else. Connor liked that his boyfriend trusted in him and loved him even more for it. 

"What's good bro" Connor greeted the teenager that walked up and sat beside him quietly.

"Whatsup Connor" replied the boy as he looked off in the distance.

"OK, what's going on dude?" Connor asked with some concern in his voice.

"What do you mean?" The boy replied.

"Don't even try it Matt, something is up. You called me Connor right off the bat and  those brownish, greenish eyes of yours are not up to their usual mischief" Connor replied.

"Hazel Green. Green from my mom and my dad has dark brown eyes. Anyway these puppies are not for you." Said Matt looking at Connor and forcing a smile.

"Whatever dude. Yeah, I know they're for a certain Japanese, brazilian, taller than me pitcher." Connor replied teasingly.

At the mention of the boy he likes, Connor noticed that Matt's head dropped and he became suddenly quiet.

"Is it something with Andy?" Asked Connor.

"He wants to wants to make it official. He says we don't have to make any announcements are anything like that but if we are going to have anything thing together we have to own it. Apparently his dad has this thing about truth and honor and he was raised that way." Said Matt.

"Sounds like Andy, he's one of the most straightforward people I know." Replied Connor.

"He's going to tell his parents about us and come out to them all at once, tonight. He figures it's a Tuesday so if he tells them on a school night they won't be on him all night then he has school the next day to kinda of get away. That should give them till the weekend to come to terms." Matt said.

"He says he really likes me and he wants to be boyfriends. So far we've just been hanging out at school and sneaking kisses when we can. But I really like him too. I like him a lot.  I want us to be boyfriends too, but what do I do about my dad." Said and asked Matt.

"Andy understands about my dad he says that I should tell him when I'm ready." He continued.

"So what's bothering you? You like him, he likes you, a lot. He's not pressuring you into anything. He's not asking you to come out to everyone. I think he just wants to know where you stand and if you'll stand up for what you guys have together." Said Connor.

"I know, but I'm worried about him a little. About how his folks  will react. Will they try to stop us from being friends. Or even worse, make him change schools, and I  won't be able to see him at all. I think that's what I'm worried about the most. And then there are the idiots here at school and the guys on his baseball team and morons on my soccer team. I mean we're not going to broadcast anything but people are bound to notice stuff and say stuff." Replied Matt.

"Sounds like you've made up your mind to go all in" said Connor with a smile. "You told me once that I was lucky to have someone I can be myself with. I think you can have that too" Connor added.

"Yeah, Andy is kinda a special. I think he's worth it." Matt said with a smile.

"You know you always have me in your corner and Jude too and even Taylor if you like" said Connor.

"I know, Stevens" Matt replied.

"Can you imagine it, we could double date. This is getting to be be a real soap opera." Said Connor playfully.

"What are you talking about?" Asked Matt sounding a little confused.

"I mean here we have the star hitter hooking up the assistant principal's son. Then we have the star pitcher and the star soccer player. I'm telling you son, Degrassi has nothing on us." An elated Connor replied.

"You obviously watch too much TV dude" said Matt as he rolled his eyes.

"Think about it bro, me and Jude and you and Andy. Jonnor and Mandy. If this was an episode of Degrassi it would be called "Mandy in the making." Said Connor, laying it on thick.

"OMG. The boy done lost his marbles" said Matt as he shook his head.

"Jonnor? Mandy? Dude what the...?" Said Matt looking at Connor as if he had two heads.

"Get with it bro. Jonnor as in Jude and Connor, that's what they've been calling us lately. I kinda like it. Now we have Matt and Andy that equals Mandy. Get used to it" Said Connor.

"Whatever dude." Matt returned.

"Wow, well I think it's a good thing. Me, my boyfriend and my best friend and his boyfriend hanging out. Can't beat that." Connor replied.

"Best friend?" Matt asked looking at Connor.

"Yeah. Besides Jude. Definitely." replied Connor with a smile.

"OK Stevens... I mean Connor. But if you ever call us Mandy again it over between us." Said Matt with a broad smile.

The two boys sat and chatted till the end of their bro date.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor will have to stick up for himself and Jude. Alliances will be made and friendships cemented. And another reveal at Anchor Beach Charter School.
> 
> Stay tuned.


	14. Something Is Happening/ You're not the only one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude talks to his bff Taylor about his emerging new feelings for Connor.
> 
> "umm, something is happening, with me and Connor" said Jude hesitantly.  
> "Something like what?" Inquired Taylor
> 
> Jude Connor have a make out session.
> 
> "I just wanted to make sure" Connor said smiling.  
> "Of what?" Asked Jude.  
> "That I wasn't the only one throwing up boners" Connor answered with a sly smile.

Jude's last period has ended and he walks with Taylor to his locker to collect his things. Taylor has been someone Jude can talk to freely about almost anything. She's always willing to listen and smart beyond her years. Jude values her opinion and advise. She is always able to cut through the fluff and get the crux of things.

"Taylor can I talk to you about something?" Asked Jude.

"I'm listening" said Taylor.

"umm, **something is happening** , with me and Connor" said Jude hesitantly.

"Something like what?" Inquired Taylor

"Well you know I like him a lot, no, I love him. Just hanging out together and talking to him is like the best thing ever and then we started kissing and I like that a lot too. But lately I've been thinking about other stuff" replied Jude.

"Other Stuff? Stuff like what?" Taylor asked, suddenly curious.

"You know" Jude said in a hushed voice. "His body, my body, the way I'm starting to feel when we touch, making out." Jude shared.

"Oh my god, you're thinking about having sex" Taylor blurted out, unable to contain her glee.

"Taylor! Keep your voice down" Jude said through his teeth.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just so excited for you guys." An elated Taylor said.

"Well gee, thanks, you're excited and I'm scared" said Jude.

"It's natural to feel that way Jude, losing your virginity can be scary, especially to a hot, strong stud like Connor. I guess" Taylor returned.

"No you didn't go there" Jude said shaking his head.

"Well, technically Connor is the one who's gonna go there. I'm just saying" Taylor retorted.

"Taylor! Stop! This is serious" Jude admonished.

"Have you guys talked about it?" she queried

"No, not really, we have just been kind of hinting around. I know he's going to be the one but I'm not sure I'm ready" Jude replied

"Jude you guys need to talk so you are on the same page. Connor is probably feeling the same way. Then you have to go with your heart and what feels right, when the time is right, for both of you." Taylor said looking him in the eyes.

"It's going to happen eventually. All your little virtue will be gone". Taylor quipped.

"I hate you" Jude said rolling his eyes.

"love you" Taylor said before she quickly kissed him on the cheek. "Call you later" she said as she walked off.

 

Connor was sitting on the bench waiting for Jude, he started to wonder what was keeping him. Finally he saw Jude approaching, he couldn't help himself as a broad smile washed across his face.

Jude was nearing the bench where Connor sat waiting. He saw the flash of a smile and soon he was bearing one just as big and bright.

"Thought you forgot about me" said Connor. "I was beginning to think you ran off with someone else" he teased.

"I thought about it, but then I realized Taylor was a girl" Jude teased back.

Jude walked up to Connor and sat on his lap and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

"By the way Mom is going to be late, she's finishing up some stuff so we have to wait a while" Jude said.

"No prob, I'm not in a hurry, and that means more time with you." said Connor as he wrapped his arms around Jude.

"I wish there was somewhere other than here where we could wait" said Jude.

"Follow me" said Connor after he thought about it for a while.

He took Jude's hand and headed to the walking path that ran along Anchor beach. They walked for a little till they came to a concrete bench that Connor was familiar with.

"Nice, great view, kinda secluded" said Jude as they sat down.

"This is where Matt comes with Andy, when they want to talk and suck a little face. I don't think they would mind sharing" Connor whispered.

"I'm down with sharing" Jude whispered back.

Jude sucked in a quick breath as he felt Connor's lips on his neck unexpectedly. He leaned his head to side to give Connor access to his long neck. With each kiss on the bare skin, he felt chills going down his spine. Connor kissed his way up to his jawline and worked around to Jude's lips. Then he sucked in both of  Jude's lips into his large hot mouth. His tongue was probing between Jude's lips and against his teeth.

Jude felt Connor's tongue pushing between his lips and up against his teeth. His hands found Connor's head and his fingers tangled themselves in his hair. He opened his mouth and sucked in the soft hot tongue suddenly, he sucked in the large tongue with some strength, pulling it as far as it would extended, catching Connor by surprise. He heard the larger boy let out a quick moan, then he felt him shiver. But Jude was not going to let him off the hook. He sucked down on the tongue harder, pulling it deeper into his mouth. Connor was grunting softly and the sound drove Jude wild. He felt Connor's fingers digging up and down his back and his sides. He felt Connor's body jolting in spasms.

Connor's eyes were rolled back. Jude had him by the tongue and was exacting a punishment that seem to override his senses and control of his body. The sensations that came from his tongue being pulled and sucked on so vigorously took over his whole body. He couldn't help the moans and grunts that escaped from him. It hurt so good. He wrapped his arm around Jude tightly and pulled him into his chest.

When Jude finally let him have his tongue back, he rolled it around in his mouth, it felt sore and swollen and he loved the feel of it.

He took Jude's head in both hands and placed a long sweet gentle kiss on his lips. Then he went for Jude's neck again, his lips found a spot in the curve of his neck and shoulder blade and sucked down. He sucked down harder until he heard Jude let out a gasp. Pay back. He kept sucking, this time Jude groaned. He wanted more so he kept sucking. This time Jude not only groaned but breathed out "Oh Connor". Then he heard Jude let  out one long continuous groan and he felt Jude's spine arch.

Connor was sucking at the base of his neck and shoulder blade. Jude felt the stinging sensation as the hungry mouth sucked down insistently. A soft gasp left his lips. the sucking got more intense and Jude moaned. Connor kept sucking and Jude heard himself moan and he heard Connor's name slip from his lips. More sucking, and he felt his body start to tingle, it crept down his spine into the small of his back. He closed his eyes, his mouth fell open and then "aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" gurgled from his throat.

That was the reaction Connor needed to hear. he pulled off Jude's neck and lookedlooked him in the eyes. he was getting ready to speak but Jude beat him to it.

"I love you Connor Stevens" Jude said softly

"I love you too Jude Adams-Foster" Connor returned.

Jude felt the hand on his thigh and watched as it slid up to the front of jeans. He felt the fingers press into the erection that was pushing through the fabric. He saw when Connor's hand slipped into his pocket then he felt him palm his boner and squeeze just a little. He was ok with Connor touching him like that.

"I just wanted to make sure" Connor said smiling.

"Of what?" Asked Jude.

"That I wasn't the only one throwing up boners" Connor answered with a sly smile. 

Connor leaned back and gave Jude a view. It was an even larger bulge in the front of his cargo shorts. Jude reached over and felt the erection, kneading his finger tips into the mound. 

" **You're not the only one** , but, some of us boners are bigger than others" Jude replied with his own sly smirk.  

Connor blushed at Jude's comment about his size.

"Connor, we need to talk about this.. what's happening with us now" Jude said.

"I know" said Connor. "Whatever happens will be something we both want. Ok" he added.

"OK" Said Jude.

"you know, when I get home I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands" Connor said with a hand gesture.

"Here we go with the grossness" moaned Jude.

"Gross? That's not gross. It's called appreciating your own handy work" Connor said teasingly. "You don't?" he added.

"I plead the fifth." Jude said, throwing up his hands. "And my hands plead the fifth too." he continued.

"Besides Jesus goes to town enough for both of us" Jude said rolling his eyes.

Jude's phone chimed with a message, it was Mom Lena saying she was at the car waiting. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up its an all out brawl.  
> Friends will have each others' back.  
> Mandy will reveal its' self with defiance.  
> A solidarity double date.


	15. I trust you/keep my secret, I'll keep yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude and Connor get a little randy but one of Jude's siblings interrupts the hot and heavy session
> 
> Jesus walks in on Connor and Jude in the height of a hot sexual interlude. He was upset with what he saw.  
> He has a talk with Jude and Connor after Jude accuses him of not accepting him because he's gay.  
> Jesus assures his little brother that he's way off base and shares a secret to prove his point.
> 
> “I’ve done things with boys before” Jesus said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are from "May be just a little". They were meant to be part of this work. I can merge them now because I'm ending this series. The new season is about to start so now it's up to the professional writers to feed the fire/hunger.

Jude is cleaning up his room. At least his section of the room. He's made the bed, put away stray articles of clothing, he's even dusted. He checks over the room and nods his satisfaction to himself. Jude wanted the place to be perfect. No clutter, no toys or stuff on the floor, nothing that Connor could bang his foot on, or trip over, and especially no skate boards.

He doesn't know why he's so excited, it's not like Connor hasn't been over before. But this is the first time since the shooting, the first time since they became boyfriends that Connor would be over. It's not a sleepover but he will be there for most of the day into the night. Connor's father had some all day job related conference. His son was still hobbling around with a cast and he thought it would be better if Connor hung out at the Adam-Fosters for the day. Jude's moms were happy to oblige, especially since it was a Saturday and the boys had no school the next day.

Connor arrived around eleven that morning and Lena met him at the door and let him in. She told him Jude was up in his room and he hobbled his way up the steps.

"Hey Jude" Connor chirped as he entered the room.

"Hey lefty" Jude replied with a not so subtle dig at Connor's injured foot.

"Very funny dude" said Connor as hobled over to the bed and plopped down at the foot.

Jude was sitting on the bed with his legs extended towards Connor. 

"Hey, cut that out" yelled Jude as Connor reach over and tickled the bottom of his bare foot. He pull up his legs and sat with them crossed, away from the evil boy's mischievous fingers.

"So what do you wanna do" inquired Jude.

"Let's play that Star Wars game for a while" said Connor.

Jude gladly reached for his tablet.

"May the force be with us" said Connor As he shuffled over beside Jude.

After about an hour of battling robot troops and weird creatures, the boys were interrupted by Lena. 

"Hi boys" she said from the doorway of the room.

"Hi mom, hi Mrs Adams-Foster" chimed the boys barely looking up from their game.

"Listen, I have to run out for a little. I have to pick up Jesus from therapy and then swing by the market to pick up someting for dinner. I'll bring back pizza for lunch." she said. "You guys have special requests?" She asked.

"Fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy" volunteered Jude.

"With Corn on the cob" added Connor.

"No salad" they both said in unison.

"Really guys, salad is good for you" Lena said with a smile.

"You guys are going to be on your own for a little while. Everybody is out doing something today and Mom had to work. Don't burn the house down before I get back." she said with a hint of warning before she left.

The Boys continued to play their game for some time.

Jude was watching Connor maneuver troops on the tablet. He noticed a bulging vein that ran along Connor's forearm and disappeared on the back of his hand. Without thinking he started to trace the vein with his finger.

"What" asked Connor turning his head to Jude.

"Nothing, I just never really noticed this before" Jude replied as he continued to gently trace the vein.

Connor paused the game and put down the tablet. He watched as Jude ran his finger along his arm.

"I hope I never stop surprising you" he said as he looked into Jude's eyes.

He leaned in and his mouth found Jude's Lips. 

Jude's hand came up to Connor's head, pulling his face in even closer.

Connor let out a soft moan as he felt Jude's tongue push pass his lips and invaded his mouth. Then the dance of the tongues began.

Jude was surprised by the feel of Connor's tongue against his. Kissing like this was still new to him. The play of tongues was sending strange sensations through his whole body. Nice sensations.

Connor pulled back, he needed to breathe.

"Are we making out?" He asked.

Jude said nothing, he just leaned into Connor and clamped his mouth onto his. This time Jude let Connor's tongue in. He took a quick deep breath, Connor's tongue was so large it filled his whole mouth. He let out a soft wimper and his eyes rolled back as he exhaled.

Connor felt Jude pulling him down onto the bed. He let his body go with the flow. Jude was now on his back and he was partially on top of him. Without breaking the kiss, he moved his body fully on top of Jude.

Jude felt Connor shift his body so that he was on top of him. Connor was heavy but it felt good. He wished their bodies could meld into each other. He slipped his hands under Connor's T-shirt and pressed his palms into the bare skin, then dug his fingers into the muscled body.

Connor followed suit, his hands found their way under Jude's pullover and encompassed his slender waist. He slid his hands up Jude's sides, kneading the soft skin and flesh as he worked his way up to his chest. He worked his lips down to Jude's long neck and made suck kisses up and down the bare expanse of skin.

With each neck kiss, Jude's body jolted. He wrapped his arm around the other boy's body as tightly as he could muster.

Something else was going on that was new to the boys. Not new to them as boys but new to them as boys together. They both had throbbing boners, which were pressed against each other with the slow gently grinding of their pelvis.

Jude grab Connor's top by the hem and pulled it up over his head.

Connor stopped for a movement and quickly discarded the T-shirt. He then reached down and did the same with Jude's pullover.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for all of this" said Jude as he put a hand on Connors chest signaling him to hold up.

"I'm not ready for all of it either" replied Connor. "Do you want to stop?" He asked looking at jude.

"Not yet, maybe just a little" Jude replied.

Jude slid his hand down Connor's abs and let it stop on the hardness under his shorts. He  heard Connor gasp as he gently squeezed it through the fabric.

Connor had never been touched like that before by another person. Jude was holding onto to his boner and gently massaging. He moved his hand to the front of Jude's sweats and palmed the mound protruding under the cloth.

"I done it a few times by myself, maybe we can do it together" said Jude.

"A few times? Asked Connor. "I've done it a lot of times" he added.

Connor eased down on top of Jude again and kissed him gently. Then he did a move that surprised Jude. He rolled them over so Jude was now on top. He then slid his hands into the waistband of Jude's sweats and boxers and slowly slid them off Jude's butt. He palmed the naked flesh of Jude's perfectly rounded little buns. He then slid one hand between their bodies and started to stroke Jude.

"Oh my god, what the hell?" That was Jesus.

 

******************************************************************************************

 

Jude was on top of Connor and their mouths were locked in a feverish kiss. Connor’s right hand was between their bodies, he had a firm grip on Jude’s erect penis. Connor was stroking the hard flesh the way he himself would want to be stroked. This was the first time for him so he had no other reference.

“I wanna see” he breathed into Jude’s lips.

“Me too” muffled Jude.

Jude eased up to a crouching position, straddling Connor, sitting on his legs. He leaned back putting his weight on both his arms on either side of his boyfriend.

Connor propped himself up by his elbows so he could get a better look at the boy who was driving him crazy and causing him to feel things he had never felt before. Jude was beautiful perched on top of him, presenting himself. Jude face looked like he was worried whether or not Connor would approve of what he saw. Connor didn’t speak , he just reach out with his hand and palmed Jude’s face gently, dragging his fingertips delicately over Jude’s eyes, his cheeks, his nose. When he got to his mouth he stuck a couple of fingers gently between his lips pulling them apart slowly before he let his hand drop between Jude’s legs. Jude was uncircumcised, a strange sight for Connor since he was. Jude was also bigger than he thought such a slender boy would be. He had more length than girth. Connor grasped the hard penis and push the hood of skin back slowly, revealing a glistening deep pink knob.

Jude watched as Connor played with him in a way that he had only played with himself. Then he decided it was his turn to see what exactly was causing the large bulge under Connor’s shorts. He slipped his fingers under the waist band of the shorts and briefs and as Conner eased himself up he slip them down to his knees. Jude’s eyes widened as the teenager’s swollen member sprang from the harness of cloth. Connor was huge, with a large head and he was cut and his shaft was thick, long and perfectly straight and had random freckles covering the skin. What a weird place for freckles thought Jude.

They both knew that when the time was right, no act would be forbidden or shameful. Not if it was what they both wanted.

“Connor, you know that one day we can do anything you want, anything we want and it will be ok with me, you know that, right?” said Jude.

“I know” said Connor “I would never try to make you do anything you don’t want to, and I’ll do anything you want to, you know that don’t you?’’ he added.

“I do, **I trust you** ” replied Jude then he started to stroke Connor’s penis to the same rhythm that his was being stroked. They were doing to each other what up until now they had only done to themselves.

Jesus’s loud exclamation broke the euphoric trance that they were in. Jude and Connor turned to the see the older boy standing in the doorway with both his hands covering his mouth and his eyes bulging out of their sockets.

 

Jesus has just gotten home from his physical therapy session. He has to go three times a week since the accident. He hates the sessions because he feels fine but his moms insist that he keeps every appointment. The condition being that if he wants to continue with wrestling and go off to boarding school they have to be sure that he’s fully recovered. He was supposed to be picked by his mom but he got a ride with another parent whose kid was recovering from a fractured ankle. He called his mom to let her know that he wouldn’t need the ride so she just went straight to the market. He kind of liked going to the market because he always got to pick up some stuff that he liked just for himself. But, he was worn out from the therapy session and he wanted to get some rest. So he jumped at the chance to get home earlier.

He was not prepared for what he walked into when he entered his room.

There was little brother, Jude, no shirt, bare butt, pants at his ankles, straddling Connor Stevens who himself was shirtless, shorts down below his knees. And both of them, hands busy.

“Oh my God, what the hell?” was what froze the boys like deer in the headlights.

“Jesus, what are you doing here?” Yelled Jude after he recovered from the initial shock as he and Connor tried to quickly get their pants back up.

“What am I doing here, I live here, what the hell are you guys doing” Jesus yelled back.

“Get dressed both of you, now” he commanded. Then he turned around and headed back down the stairs.

The two boys were scurrying to put on their clothes. They were shaken and nervous.

“Oh my god Jude, do you think he’s going to tell your moms?” said Connor in nervous and shakey voice.

“What if they tell my dad, maybe he won’t let us see each other for a while” Connor said visible shaken.

“let’s just go downstairs, I don’t even want to think about what my moms will say or do if they find out” Jude said sounding nervous and shaken as well.

When they got downstairs Jesus was there waiting for them. He was glaring at both of them but especially at Connor. It was no secret that Jesus was not a big fan of Connors'.

“And you, what were you doing to my little brother? “ Jesus asked angrily looking directly at Connor.

Connor didn’t reply he just hung his head and stood there with his hands in his pocket.

“It’s not his fault, blame me. Please don’t tell moms, I don’t want Connor to get in trouble with his dad” Jude cut in.

“Well tough, it’s too late for that” Jesus responded.

“Oh my god “ Connor said and he sat and covered his face with both hands and started to cry.

“Now he crying like a little girl” said Jesus dismissively.

That was it for Jude. He had never seen Connor cry. And the idea that he was so terrified that he would break down in tears made Jude feel like dying on the inside. Now he was angry and in defensive mode.

“What’s your problem anyway. You’re only upset because he’s a boy and I’m a boy” he yelled loudly, hot angry tears running down his cheeks.

“What are you talking about? “ Said Jesus, a little taken aback by the fire that suddenly erupted from his little brother.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, if it was a girl you’d be giving me high-fives and back slaps” he said in voice mixed with anger and crying.

“Well, he’s my boyfriend and you made him cry and you... I’m your brother and you don’t…” Jude didn’t get to finish.

Because his brother rushed over and embraced him in a tight hug.

“Jude stop, stop. You’re wrong, you’re so wrong.” Said Jesus as he rested his chin on top of Jude’s head.

“Don’t ever think that. I’m always here for you and I’ll always love you. Just as you are.” He said.

“I’m just worried about you, you are so young. Trust me, I know firsthand what it’s like to do stuff that you’re not ready or prepared for. Because you like or even love somebody a lot” Jesus said.

“Come on Jude, we have two moms, how could you think I don’t understand or that I don’t accept you and the fact that you have a boyfriend, crybaby over there. I’m going to tell you something, both of you. But if you ever repeat it you’re both dead plus I’ll tell moms what I saw.” Said Jesus.

By now Connor had stop crying was watching and listening to the siblings. They both quickly agree to Jesus’s terms and the three sat down so Jesus could share.

“Remember you’re dead, both of you. Jude, I’m telling you guys this so you know that I mean everything I said” Jesus warned.

“I’ve done things with boys before” Jesus said.

Jude and Connor’s mouths dropped open and they looked at each other in disbelief.

“Oh my god” said Connor.

“What?” When?” “With who and what did you do?” Asked Jude in quick succession.

“Does he say anything else” Jesus asked and pointed at Connor.

“When I was twelve I had this friend named Miguel, he was almost fourteen, I think, anyway, I used to hang out at his house sometimes. His dad’s a cop like mom, they know each other. We kinda messed around a couple of times. That was actually my first kiss and second.” Jesus relayed.

“But you like girls, a lot” Jude said emphasizing “a lot”. “What did you guys do?”

“Well we … you know, together and for each other” Jesus did that hand gesture that told the boys exactly what he meant.

“Why, you don’t like boys” said Jude.

“No I don’t, but I liked Miguel. I think he was my first crush. Miguel was just real cool, and funny, he played baseball, he was really good. I think he still plays in college. He was good looking and he had the biggest…it was unreal, let’s leave it at that.” Jesus said shaking his head.

“You touch it?“ Both boys chimed in unison

“Yeah I touched it, hard not to, just to make sure it was real. I wanted to be just like him. Then we started talking to girls and that was that we never did anything again. It was fun, I liked it and I liked him, I’m not going to lie” Jesus finished.

“Wow, I would have never thought” said Jude.

“yeah, me neither” said Connor. “Wait you said boys” added Connor.

“yeah, you did “said Jude.

“Now he wants to talk” Jesus said, referring to Connor.

Both boys were looking at him with anxious eyes.

“Okaay, whatever, there was Lester when I was eleven. Let’s just say my first BJ was not from a girl.”

“Boys I’m home, I need help with groceries” that was mom Lena.

“You **keep my secret and I’ll keep yours** ” said Jesus as he gave them the eye and rushed off to help his mom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. I just Want you to be sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesus tells Jude more about his experience with another boy 
> 
> “I don’t get it Jesus, you’re not gay, you’re not into guys” Jude said.
> 
> “True. But it wasn’t about gay or straight for us. It was about me and Miguel and the way we felt about each other. The way I felt about him."

Lena made the dinner that the boys requested. When the whole family plus Connor sat down to eat, she told them that Jude and Connor hade made the special request. Everyone at the table gave them kudos on their choice. Lena had outdone herself in the kitchen. She had made the tastiest, juiciest southern fried chicken with real mashed potatoes and brown gray and freshly shucked organic corn on the cob and a salad made from a baby greens mix with sweet grape tomatoes, cucumber slices and she mixed in some diced green pears and sprinkled it with dried cranberries. The dressing was her version of a honey lime vinaigrette. Dinner was a hit, the boys even ate the salad and asked for seconds.

After dinner everyone gathered in the living room for some family time. So they could talk and catch up on what was going on with each other. Lena sprung another surprise, she had made dessert, she made ambrosia. A concoction of heavy cream, confections sugar, a hint of almond essence all whipped to a cloud like consistency. Mixed in were sliced fresh strawberries and canned fruit cocktail. The dessert was chilled for a couple of hours. It was light and not too sweet, heavenly almost and a perfect way to top off a perfect evening with the brood.

Connor’s father picked him up at around eight thirty that evening. When he got to the house he called Lena to tell her he was outside waiting and thanked her for having Connor over while he took care of business. The Adams-Fosters were still enjoying their family time when the call came. Lena told Connor his dad was outside and he got himself together to leave. Jude walked him out and when they got to the porch they stopped and hugged.

“I wish you didn’t have to go” said Jude.

“Me too, I really like hanging out with you and your family” replied Connor.

“But at least now Jesus can stop giving me the eye, I don’t think your bother likes me very much” Connor said to Jude. “And after what happened earlier, he’s going to be watching us like a hawk” he added.

“He’s cool, he’s just a little protective” said Jude.

“About earlier, I’m sorry that I almost got us in trouble” Connor started to say.

“It was amazing and we didn’t do anything that I didn’t want to do also” Jude interjected.

“Next time we just have to be more careful” Jude said looking at Connor with the devil in his eyes.

Connor looked at him with surprise and a sparkle in his. He leaned in a gave Jude a sweet little kiss on his lips.

The truck horn started to beep signaling Connor that he had to go.

 

After the family turned in and everyone found their rooms and separate spaces Jude was sitting on his bed playing with one of his games.  Jesus walked in from the bathroom and sat on his bed. He was flipping through one of his wrestling magazines with his headphones on.

Jude walked timidly over to his older brothers bed and stood there waiting to be acknowledged.

“What do you want?” Jesus said without looking up from his magazine.

“I just want to say thanks for not telling moms and sorry about what happened earlier and sorry for what I said” Jude said softly.

“We’re good, just remember you guys part of the deal. And you’re lucky it wasn’t moms or on of the girls that walked in” Jesus replied.

“OK” said Jude. “Jesus, why don’t you like Connor?” Jude asked. “It would mean a lot to me if you guys got along” he added.

“He’s your boyfriend, doesn’t matter if I like him or not” Jesus responded.

“I know but why don’t you?” Asked Jude.

“I don’t dislike him Jude, it’s just that I know about boys like that” said Jesus.

“Like what?” Asked Jude sounding a little confused.

“I see the way he is with you, and the way you are around him. I’m not surprised that you two are an item. I saw that coming a long time” Jesus replied looking up at Jude.

“I still don’t understand” said Jude.

“Come here Jude sit down, I didn’t tell you everything about me and Miguel. You and Connor remind me of how we were when we were friends. Miguel was older but he always treated me like we were equals, he always listened to what I had to say and he would always ask my opinion. He was protective and always looked out for me. He made me feel special. I pretty much worshiped the ground he walked on. I would have done anything he wanted. I just liked him so much that I wouldn’t want to disappoint him. When you like somebody that much you’ll do stuff that you’re not ready or prepared for or even know how to deal with. We did other stuff or at least tried anyway.” Jesus said to Jude who was now sitting next to him.

“I thought you meant Lexi when you spoke earlier” said Jude.

“Well that too, but with Lexi, we were ready but we weren’t prepared at all.” Said Jesus.

“What other stuff did you guys try to do” asked Jude.

“We did everything with and to each other. Everything. But one thing we only tried once” replied Jesus.

“What thing? Asked Jude, his eyes popping open.

“You know, well maybe you don’t yet. He tried putting it up there, he didn’t force me, he didn't have to, I would have done anything he wanted, he just suggested it, I let him, big mistake.” answered Jesus.

“What happened” Asked Jude with a suspicious tone.

“Well remember I said he was really, really big. It hurt really badly and I started to bleed. There was a lot of blood and it wouldn’t stop. We both panicked we didn’t know what do. How were we going to explain it to moms and his dad. Luckily it looked worse than it actually was. The bleeding stopped after a while but it was so scary. I really could have been hurt. We never tried that again. I kinda stopped hanging out over at his house after that and the rest is history.” Jesus replied.

“I don’t get it Jesus, you’re not gay, you’re not into guys” Jude said.

“True. But it wasn’t about gay or straight for us. It was about me and Miguel and the way we felt about each other. The way I felt about him. That’s why I’m concerned about you Jude. **I just want you to be sure** you’re ready and prepared. I don’t want you to do stuff because you really like Connor. I know he likes you too and that he probably wouldn’t force you into anything but just take your time and be sure before you get into stuff. That’s all. I see so much of Miguel in him, so I understand that it would be easy to go with whatever. But when it happens it should be because it’s what you want not because you don’t want to disappoint.” Jesus said to Jude.

"I didn't really want to try that, you know, what we tried. I was OK with the other stuff we did, with our hands, boy I needed both hands with his. I was even OK with the stuff we did  with our mouths. He did it to me so I felt like I should return the favor. I didn't speak up about not wanting to. I'm pretty sure he would have understood. But I didn't want to disappoint and it could have gone really wrong." Jesus said.

"I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you" he added.

“I think I understand, we agreed we won’t do anything unless we both want to” replied Jude.

“I never told anyone about this Jude so…” Jesus said.

“I won’t, I promise” Jude replied

“Jesus, thank you. You know I love you right” Jude added.

“Me too buddy” Jesus replied as he hugged his little brother.

 


	17. Something Just For us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More about Jesus and his same sex experiences.
> 
> Written at the request of Dan. Hope you like it.

Jude is sitting on his bed he trying to build up the courage to engage his brother in a conversation. He and Jesus have gotten closer since the incident a couple of weeks earlier. Jesus had shared a secret about his past experiences in confidence. Jude feels privileged to have his brother's confidence and would never betray It, not even to Connor. He finds himself talking to Jesus more and asking for advise. Lately Jude finds himself thinking about Connor in a more physical  and sexual way. He wouldn't feel comfortable talking to his moms nor his brother Brandon and definitely not his sisters. Since Jesus had some experience with boys he figures he would be best to tell him about the things that boys do together sexually.

"What do you want?" Jesus asked, lifting one side of his beats headphones so he could hear the response.

"I just want to talk about some stuff" replied Jude.

"Talk about what?" Responded Jesus, looking at him blankly and sounding impatient.

"Just have some questions" Jude said as he sat at the foot of his brother's bed.

"Did I say you could sit?" Jesus fired at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Jude said softly as he stood up quickly and turned to walk away, head hanging.

"Jude, come back, I'm playing" said his brother with a big smile, signalling him to sit.

"What did you want to talk about?" Jesus queried.

"How did you and Miguel become friends?" asked Jude.

"We met at a picnic for cops and their families. From the moment his dad introduced us, we just clicked. We were inseparable after that. Why do you want to know?" Said and asked Jesus.

"I just wondered how you guys went from friends to... you know" Jude responded.

Well after we met the following weekend I asked moms if I could hang out his house since they didn't live too far away. They were happy I made a new friend especially since he was Latino also. Something about me being in touch with my heritage. His father is Columbian who came here as a kid and his mother is part Mexican, part African American. We would hangout every weekend as possible. I preferred to hang at his house because his mom wasn't as nosey as our moms." Jesus said to Jude.

"Well, you're not gay. Was Miguel" Asked Jude.

"Miguel gay? No. He had girl friends and he had been with girls before we met. And there was one girl I was sure of." Replied Jesus

"How could you be sure?" Asked jude.

"I was there. I was hiding in his closet with the door slightly open so I could see. I saw everything, he even used a condom. It lasted for ten minutes or so then the girl suddenly got up and left." Said Jesus.

"So how did you guys go from that to messing around?" Asked Jude looking puzzled.

"Well, I got really excited and turned on by what I saw and I got a huge boner. I tried to hide it when I came out the closet but I couldn't. Miguel saw it and started laughing. He asked me if I liked what I saw. I told him 'yes'. Then I told him I didn't know he had such a really big one. Then he told me that was why the girl left. She couldn't deal with it. Then he said it looked like I had a big one too. It just wouldn't go down. I told him I was not big as he was. Then he said 'let me see.' I was like, 'no.' And he was like, 'but you saw mine.' I was like, 'so what?' And he said 'that's not fair.' And I was like, 'Ok.' Then I pulled down my sweats and showed him. He was like, 'wow.' And I felt good when he said that. Then he pulled down his shorts and I was dumbstruck. It was even bigger up close. Then he said 'you're still hard and I'm hard. Do you want to do something?' And I asked 'do what?' And he said that we could jerk off together. I just watched him do a girl, I couldn't believe he wanted to do that with me. I said 'Ok.' Then we stood there watching each other beat off. I couldn't help myself I just reached over and touched his. When I realized what I did I pulled my hand back real fast. But Miguel didn't freak out. He just said that he didn't mind if I touched it. Then he reached over and touched mine. Then he came closer to me till his was touching mine. And I held onto to it. I'd never felt anything like that before, it was unbelievable. I don't know what happened, after I held it, I just started shooting all over the place. All over Miguel, all over his hands and his dick. Suddenly he came too and shot a huge load all over me. I was like 'eww.' But it was still like the most exciting thing I'd ever done. After it was over we stood there all messy, both laughing like two idiots." Jesus told his brother.

Jude was entranced, absorbing every word.

"After we cleaned up, we played some games, we had dinner then we played more games till it was time for bed. He had a bunk bed and he let me sleep on top. We were talking quietly because we were supposed to be sleeping and then he asked me if I wanted to come down with him? I was down in no time. We were laying there together and he said he had never done anything like that with anybody else. I told him me neither. Then I asked him why he did it with me? He said that he really liked me. I told him I really liked him too. I did. Then he asked me if I had ever kissed anyone? I said not really. Then he asked me if I wanted to try? I said I guess. Then he kissed me, a real kiss with tongue and everything. I was hooked after that."Jesus said.

"I can't believe I'm telling you this stuff. I've never talked about it." He added.

"You guys didn't think that was... you know, gay?" Asked jude.

"No. I was still very curious about girls and Miguel had a girlfriend, Ashley. I hated her. She was nice but I hated her. Anyway Miguel told me he liked me better than any girl so I let her live." Jesus replied.

"Maybe you were jealous. Were you guys in love?" Asked Jude.

"No. I was not in love. I don't think he was either. We just had a very intimate connection. **Something just for us**." Jesus said.

"Jude what are you up to? Why are you asking about this stuff?" Queried Jesus.

"I have my reasons, I'll tell you after" replied Jude.

"Tell me about the blow jobs" Jude said sheepishly.

"Oh really? That didn't happen for a while. Jerking off together had become our thing. Then we tried jerking each other off. That was more fun. Jerking Miguel off was unbelievable. Especially when he layed  back, no clothes, legs spread wide and let me at it with both hands. The way his body reacted, the sounds he made. He had this thing with biting his bottom lip. He trusted me. He wasn't afraid of me seeing him like that, wanting to be pleased. He didn't hold anything back. The best part was when I finally made him come. Just the look on his face. But sometimes we did nothing, but just slept together completely naked under the same cover. His arms around me or my arms around him. That was nice too." Jesus said.

"As for blow jobs, well we tried a few times. Miguel asked me one time when we were fooling around if I ever had a blow job. I told him about what happened with Lester that used to live two houses from us. Basically we were here in this room and talking about all kind of stuff. Then he asked me if I had started growing hair because he had. We were the same age, eleven. I said yes a lot. And he said stop lying. And I said I wasn't. And he said show me. I was eager to show that I wasn't lying. So I pulled down my shorts. He was like oh my god. I said I told you. He said no not that. That, and he pointed to me dick. Then he said its much bigger than mine. Then he got closer and touched it. I didn't stop him. I don't know why. Next thing I  knew he had it in his mouth. I was scared but it felt kinda good so I let him. I got so hard and before I could tell him to get off, I came in his mouth and all over his face. Then I guess he got embarrassed and just ran out and went home. We avoided each other for a while. When we finally spoke again I promised him I wouldn't tell anybody. His family moved to Arizona because his dad got a job there shortly after. You met him last Thanksgiving. Mr. Wilson's grandson, they came to visit.

"Wait, you mean that tall guy Les?" Asked Jude.

"Yep. If you want I could hook you up. He's gay. He told me when he was visiting." Said Jesus.

"The second was from Miguel. He had gotten a few blow jobs from some of the girls he messed around with. He said he wanted to be the first to give me a proper one. I think that's when I first realized what making your toes curl meant. I tried to return the favor a few times but I don't think I was very good. But he was fine with it. Miguel was fourteen almost fifteen and mature for his age. Everything sexual came to him naturally. He did things to my body that just left me in a headspin. The things he could with his tongue. Then he tried to put that thing back there and that was a wrap. After that I started dating girls and realized that it was really about me and Miguel. I wasn't into guys, I was into Miguel. I see guys and I might think they're cool even attractive but I don't want to get with them." Jesus stated.

"What Things did he do with his tongue?" Asked Jude, as he got a flash back of a conversation with Connor.

"Sometimes he would just lick me from head to toe, or try to stick it into every crevice and every hole possible, especially back there. Miguel was nasty. And I loved every bit of it. He used to say he couldn't get enough of me. I thought it was the other way around." replied Jesus.

"Did you ever stop liking Miguel?" asked Jude

"No. I just knew we couldn't go on forever" answered Jesus.

"So you think you have enough information to try and drive crybaby wild?" Asked Jesus.

"What do you mean?" Said jude. Surprised by his brother's question.

"Come on Jude. Don't try to play me. I know you're asking because you're thinking about doing stuff with Connor." Jesus replied.

"He's not a crybaby he was just scared. His dad was real upset when Connor told him he was gay. He was even more upset when he told him that he liked me. His father always tried to keep us apart. That's why he started dating Daria so we could go out in groups without his father getting suspicious. And he could start coming over again. He wouldn't even let me see Connor in the hospital until momma had a talk with him. They are finally in a good place and he just didn't want to give his father any reason not to trust him now that he's ok with us dating." Jude told Jesus.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that" Said Jesus. 

"I wouldn't have told moms anyway, I  just wanted to make you guys sweat." Jesus said.

"This is all so scary. And then what you told me about you and Miguel. And you getting hurt." I don't know what to think.

"Don't be scared Jude. Just don't rush into anything, till you are ready and he's ready. Make sure your prepared. And you guys should talk. Make sure you understand each other and what you both want" Jesus advised.

"I am a little scared. Connor is huge. What's going to happen if and when we try that." Said Jude.

"I know" said Jesus.

"What do you mean you know?" Asked Jude, puzzled.

"Jude, I was standing in the doorway for a while. I saw everything. I was shocked, your boyfriend is almost as big as me." Replied Jesus.

"Oh" said Jude. "You were watching? What do you mean almost?"

"Yes I watched you guys for a little and yes I'm bigger" replied Jesus. "Wait, Jude what are you looking at? Asked Jesus suspiciously.

"Nothing" Jude quickly.

"Ok this is getting weird. Maybe you should keep your eyes up here, where my face is." Jesus said.

"Can I see it? Jude blurted out quickly.

"What. No. You little freak. Why?"Jesus said.

"Just curious. You showed it to other people with no problem. Why can't you show me." Jude replied.

"This is weird and you're crazy." Replied Jesus. Throwing a pillow at Jude.

"I know but I still wanna see." Said Jude. "Come on, stop being a prude, that's my Job." Said Jude.

"That's funny. I'm being a prude and you're being a weirdo." Jesus replied, then he paused for a moment.

"Ok. Satisfied?" Jesus said.

Jude wasn't able to speak just then. His eyes were opened wide as they could. He rubbed them and looked again to make sure he was seeing right.

"Oh my god" was what he said when he was able.

"Now you sound like crybaby." Jesus muttered.

"Jesus, if Miguel was a lot bigger than that. What the hell were you thinking. You must have had a death wish" Jude said shaking his head.

"Don't remind me" Jesus said. "I gotta go to the bathroom."

"Why? You could do it right here." Jude said.

"Do what? Jesus asked.

"Whatever you're going to use that for" replied Jude referring to the small plastic vial in Jesus's hand.

"I'm down for watching and maybe trying some of whatever that is" said Jude.

"Who the hell are you and what did you do with Jude?" Jesus asked.

"I'm here, I've just been educated that's all. Now set the boundaries. You're not the only one that all this talk has ready go. Let's get this show going." Jude said with a sly smirk.

"Why?" Asked Jesus.

"I think I understand how you felt after you watched Miguel. I think I'm feeling the same way after listening to you" replied Jude.

"I like the way it's gotten between us now" Jude added.

"I do too" replied Jesus.

"I feel like I can come to you and talk about anything" Jude said.

"Connor does make me feel special, and you do too. Not only do I have an awesome boyfriend, I also have an awesome brother." Jude said looking at Jesus with admiration. "Just consider this as **something just for us**."

Jesus looked at Jude with his head tilted to the side. A small smile curled the corners of his lips. Strangely enough, he understood. Strange way to bond, but it works, he thinks.

"No touching that would be too weird." Jesus started.

"Duh" Jude interjected. "Super weird."

"No sitting on my bed with your bare butt. Aim for the floor. Clean up your own mess." Jesus continued. "Now, hold out you hand and get some of the good stuff" said Jesus.

"The good stuff?" Asked Jude as he stood up and reached out his hand to his brother who squeezed a clear thick gel from the vial into his hand. His sweats were already at his knees. He was obviously excited. But not by Jesus so much, who was a sight to behold standing there facing him, in a tank top with his shorts now down at his ankles. But, by what they were about to do, about to share.

"You'll see" said Jesus.

"Oh. It tingles" said Jude as he smeared the gel on his penis and watched as Jesus did the same.

"It gets better. Keep going" said Jesus.

 

 


	18. Hands Off/ How many does it take?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor gets into a fight when he tries to protect Jude from being bullied.
> 
> “Get your stinking hands off him” That was Connor Stevens.
> 
> Connor gets help after he is outnumbered by the bullies.
> 
> “How many of you does it take to beat up one fag?” 
> 
> New players emerge.
> 
> They are announcing to the world that “Mandy” had arrived with unabashed defiance.

Almost three months, and school life for Jude and Connor has been pretty normal. The summer break is close and the boys look forward to their first summer as officially Jonnor. But a regular Wednesday at school is about to take an ugly turn.

“Well look, here comes one half of the two love birds, I wonder which one is the girl and which one is the boy?” Said one of the two boys standing near Jude’s Locker.

“Well this little one used to wear nail polish, maybe he’s the one taking it” sneered his companion as he turned around and snap the cap back onto a magic marker.

When they stepped away from the locker, there were two words scribbled in large block letter across Jude’s locker. “QUEER” and “FAG”.

“That’s real cute guy, did you have to use spell check” said Jude as he walked up to his locker.

“I didn’t think a moron like you could spell any word with more than three letters“ added Jude.

“You better watch your mouth, you little fag” Said the boy.

“And you better grow up and stop being so juvenile” said Jude

“you’re gonna let that little sissy talk to you like that” said his companion.

“You’ve got a smart mouth for a little fag , don’t you?” He says, egged on by his friend, suddenly grabbing Jude by the shirt and slamming him up against the locker.

A crowd of kids started gathering around watching the event unfold.

“Get your stinking **hands off** him” Said an angry voice from behind them.

The two boys turn around to see a furious, red as hell Connor Stevens standing with his hands balled into fists.

“It’s the other fag” said the boy who had Jude against the locker. “You’ve come to rescue your little girlfriend?” he jeered.

“No ass wipe, I’m gay remember, I'm not into girls, now get your **hands off** my boyfriend. Bitch” Connor replied.

“Oooooo” the kids watching chorused.

The boy let Jude go and walked up to Connor and pushed in him in the chest saying

“Watch your mouth fag”

He barely got the last word out when a large fist decked him squarely in the nose. He staggered back and grabbed his face as blood streamed down.

His friend came charging, swinging at Connor who ducked and countered with an upper-cut to his chin. The blow threw the boy back. And he stood there looking at his bloody friend, both of them looking at Connor, sizing him up.

Then out of nowhere someone tackles Connor from behind, almost knocking him off his feet. The other two boys take the sudden opening to move in on Connor. One of them, landing a punch to his face.

A body suddenly sailed across the space and landed on the boy that hit Connor, wrapping its arms around his neck and its legs around his torso. Momentarily handicapping that aggressor. However, Connor still had two boys on him but he was holding his own, dishing out as good as he got.

Jude, who dived into the fray when he saw how out-numbered his boyfriend was, held onto the boy he landed on as tightly as he could. The boy was trying to throw his off, but Jude was determined to keep him off Connor. Suddenly there was a loud scream and the boy clutched at the side of his head as Jude had sunk his teeth into his ear and was trying to remove a large chunk.

Another player had entered the fray. Grabbing one of the boys on Connor and landing a devastating punch to his face. The curly haired boy that had tackled Connor from behind found himself flat on his back looking up at very cross Matt Murphy.

Connor now had free reign with his opponent, he grabbed him and slammed him to the floor and sat on his chest and landed quick punches to his face till he felt boy put up no further resistance. Connor was never a cruel person but this was the boy that grabbed his Jude and slammed him into the locker. Connor was making sure he never got the idea to make that mistake again. When he let him go, he left the boy a stunned bloody mess.

Simultaneously, the boy Jude was riding managed to throw him off. Jude landed into the lockers and the wind was knocked out of him. The boy now extremely angered by the bloody ear that Jude had given him, moved in to exact revenge. He was promptly met with a large foot to the face. When he recovered from the shock he realized he had a bloody mouth to match. And worse, he was standing face to face with a six foot, fourteen year old black belt, named Andy Yamotto. He realized that this was a fight he did not want. He looked around and saw his friend sprawled out on the floor with Connor Stevens standing over him with his fist still clenched. He saw Matt standing over the curly haired boy who was now missing a tooth and spitting out blood.

“We don’t have any beef with you guys. Why you defending these fags anyway?” he yelled.

Andy looked at him, contempt and disgust darting from his eyes, then he spoke.

“ **How many** of you **does it take** to beat up one fag?” he asked in a voice that matched the fire that erupted from his eyes.

“Well, here is one fag, come on, take me on” he added.

Then he looked around at all the kids gathered, looking them all in the eyes as he scanned the crowd.

“Anyone of you. All of you” he said.

Matt had never seen Andy so intense. Not the happy, almost shy, soft spoken boy he had come to know and love. He realized what Andy had just done. It was his turn to stand up for himself and to stand up for the boy whose arms and kisses made everything right.

Matt walked over and stood beside him. Then his hand slowly moved over to Andy’s clenched fist.

Andy felt the nudging at his hand. He slowly unclenched his fingers. Then he felt Matt’s fingers interlocking with his.

The two stood there holding hands, fingers tightly interlocked.

Andy felt Matt's hand trembling in his. He realized his boyfriend must be nervous, terrified even. But Matt was holding on so tightly as if he was tapping into Andy's strength and courage, trying to tell him he was there with him and he wasn't going anywhere.

"You ok?" Asked Andy softly.

"I will be" whispered Matt. "Just as soon as you do me one favor."

"Anything" replied Andy.

"You have to kiss me" Matt replies. "Right now."

Andy turns to Matt and placed his free hand on his strong shoulder. He slid his hand gently up to his neck, then slowly up to his ckeek. He leaned in but paused before he sealed the deal. He looked down into his boyfriend's eyes for a moment and in the intense mix of green and hazel, all he saw looking back up at him was love.

He leaned down and his mouth found the shorter, older boy's lips and proceeded to deliver a kiss that he hoped matched what he saw in Matt's eyes, to let him know he felt the same.

Matt felt Andy kiss him in a way that felt like the younger boy was trying to pull his very soul from his lips, his heart was already gone. He felt the nervousness seeping from his body, siphoned off by Andy's kiss. Everything always seem to feel right after a kiss from Andy.

They stood there locked in the endless kiss.

They are announcing to the world that “Mandy” had arrived with unabashed defiance.

“What’s going on here? Everybody, to your classes, now. The seven of you, to the Principals’ office right now!” That was one of several teachers.


	19. Jonnor/Mandy Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are suspended from school for fighting. They decide to go on a solidarity double date
> 
> “Oh, I get it” said Andy Suddenly. “Matt and Andy, “Mandy”, that’s us. I like it.”

Everyone was herded into the Principal’s office. When they arrived Monti and Lena were there waiting for the bunch.

“Jude, Connor “ Lena said, surprised to see the boys in the office.

“Jude?’” What?” Lena said still finding it incredulous.

After explanations, excuses and half-truths and some down-right lies, the boys were all informed that they were suspended.

Connor and Jude for the rest of the week or two days even though they were not the antagonists. But the school had a zero tolerance policy. Andy and Matt were suspended till the following Wednesday or four school days. The three bullies were suspended indefinitely, because they initiated the violence against the others due to their sexual orientation and for the hate speech scribbled on Jude’s locker. Their parents were immediately notified and they were sequestered from all classes until they could be picked up. Their fate was pending a full investigation and a referral to the School Board for recommendations on disciplinary actions up to and including expulsion.

After the sentencing, Jonnor and Mandy were allowed to finish out the day at school.

The four boys met up after the final period by the benches.

“Thanks for your help earlier” said Connor “I’m just sorry you guys got into trouble too”

“It had to be done” said Matt “You would have done the same for us”

“Andy, thank you for helping me” said Jude.

“I wasn’t going to stand by and let them hurt you and I didn’t want you to have to bite him down to size” said Andy with a smile.

“Yeah Jude, what was that?” said Matt.

“What, what did you do?” Asked Connor. “I was too busy trying to hold off those two.

“He pulled a Mike Tyson on one those idiots, almost took off his whole ear.” Matt replied.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fight. I’ve never been in a fight before.” Said Jude.

“You’re real brave for a little skinny guy” said Andy “The way you dived in there like a bat out of hell”

“I don’t know about being brave, I just knew I had to help Connor” said Jude.

“You could have been hurt” admonished Connor “You’re no match for those guys.”

“It would hurt more if I did nothing to help you.” Said Jude.

“Aww that’s so sweet, are we having a Jonnor moment” teased Matt.

“Look who’s talking” said Connor “I mean, Wow, Andy, you came out with a bang, talk about throwing down the gauntlet. And you Matt, standing by your boyfriend. Now, if that wasn’t a “Mandy” moment. I don’t know what is” continued Connor.

“You were right Stevens, I had to stand up for us, so Andy knows we’re in this together, no matter what” said Matt as he and Andy looked at each other with affection and pride.

“Oh, I get it” said Andy Suddenly. “Matt and Andy, “Mandy”, that’s us. I like it.”

“See, I told you” said an elated Connor.

“OMG, another one done lost his marbles” muttered Matt.

“I feel your pain” Muttered Jude.

“What’s that?” Asked Andy.

“Nothing babe.” Said Matt as he rolled his eyes.

“I know what” said Connor. “We should totally go to the movies this weekend. A “ **Jonnor, Mandy** ” **double date** ” Connor crooned happily.

“Oh god, here we go, he’s on a roll” said Jude. “Double date sounds fine.”

“I’m in” said Matt.

“It’s a double date” said Andy.


	20. Can't Go on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor's best friend is having a crisis, one which could end in tragedy
> 
> “No, I’m just gonna enjoy the view for a while, one last time. Bye Connor"
> 
> “I just hurt so bad Connor.” 
> 
> “I need my best bro. Can you help me with that Matt” asked Connor.
> 
> “I don’t want anybody else. I fucking want you, ok. You hear me.” That was Andy.
> 
> “Ok, Matthew, since this is what you want and I can’t go on without you. Let’s do it together, no matter what.” Said Andy.

“Where are you?” Connor asked the person on the phone.

“It doesn’t matter“ the voice said. “You can see everything from up here, even the top of the old abandoned orphanage.” The voice continued.

“Tell me where you are and I’ll come see you right now. We can talk” said Connor

“No, I’m just gonna enjoy the view for a while, one last time. Bye Connor.” The voice said and then the line disconnected.

“Connor what is it, who was that” asked Jude frightened by the look of panic on his boyfriend’s face.

“Jude get your mom right now, please” yelled Connor.

Jude heard the urgency and panic in Connor’s voice so he didn’t bother to question, he Just started shouting for his mom on the top of his lungs.

“What’s with all this racquet love?” asked mom Steph as she peeped her head into the living-room.

“Yeah” said Jesus as he came looking also. “Is the house on fire?” He asked.

“It’s Connor, I think something is wrong” Said Jude.

“What is it Connor, what’s going on?” asked Steph.

“It’s my friend Matt from school. He just called me and it sounded like he was crying. I think he’s going to do something really bad.” Said Connor in a panicky voice.

“We have to find him” Said Connor

“What makes you say that?” Asked Steph.

“He told me when we first met that he had thoughts about doing something drastic to end it all” said Connor. “Matt is Gay and he has a very homophobic father. Worse than mine was. I think he would hurt Matt if he found out” added Connor.

“Mom, I think it’s true” said Jude “

“Ok Connor tell me exactly what he said” Mom Steph asked as she suddenly switched into police mode.

“He said that he was just going to enjoy the view for a while for one last time. Oh, before that he said that he could see everything from up there even the top of the old orphanage” Connor related.

“I know where he is” Said Jesus suddenly. “He on the old Water Tower by the fair grounds.” He continued.

“Are you sure, how do you know that?” asked mom Steph.

“The guys from the wrestling team, we go up there and drink beer sometimes, that’s the only place you can see the top of that building from” Said Jesus timidly.

“Yeah that’s right” said Connor “I’ve been up there a couple a times” he added.

“What. Ok, Later. Connor, Jude you come with me. You know him, you might have to do some talking.” Said mom Steph.

“His boyfriend Andy is going to meet us there. I already texted him” said Connor.

“Good move Connor, see if you can get him on the phone” Said Steph.

By now the three were already in the car heading to fair grounds.

“I tried, it just rings out and goes to voicemail” said Connor.

“That could be a good thing, that means he didn’t turn it off” said Steph.

“Ok. Give me your phone” Said Jude.

He took the phone from Connor and tapped out a text. It read “Matt please call me, I need my best friend right now”. Then he hit send.

Two minutes later the phone chimed.

“It’s him” Said Connor.

“Keep him talking Connor, Jude keep quiet” Said Steph.

“Hi Matt, you called me back “ Said Connor.

“Yeah Stevens, What’s up”

“I have a problem Matt” Said Connor.

“What’s that?” asked Matt

“Someone I care about a lot, won’t let me help” Said Connor as he started to cry “and its breaking my heart” he added.

There was silence for a while then the voice said “I just hurt so bad Connor.”

“I know Matt. I‘ve been there.” Said Connor.

“You’re lucky Stevens, you don’t have to go through this” Said Matt.

“Yes I’m lucky, I have Jude and I have my best bro” Said Connor. “I need my best bro. Can you help me with that Matt” asked Connor.

The car pulls up to the fair grounds and Connor and Steph get out and head towards the tower. Connor still has Matt engaged. He had quickly slipped in his hands free headphones so he had the use of his hands. He was talking to Matt when they got to the base of the tower.

Connor whispered to Steph that he was going up. Steph whispered to him to be careful. Connor was familiar with the tower he had climbed it several times with his friends even though they weren’t supposed to.

“Matt, I’m coming up” said Connor.

“Coming up where?” asked Matt.

“Where you are” replied Connor. “I hope that’s ok , I just want to talk” said Connor.

“How did you find me? Who’s with you?” he asked.

“You told me where you were when you called and I’m coming up by myself” said Connor.

“Is that ok” asked Connor.

“Ok” said Matt after a little silence.

Connor was already more than half way up.

When he got up to the narrow gangway that ran around the water tank at the top of tower, he made his way along the path carefully. The lighting was not the best but it was adequate.

“Stay right there Stevens, don’t come any closer” he heard the voice say.

He looked to see Matt , he had climbed over the guard rail and he was sitting on a ledge with his legs dangling.

“You figured it out when I described the view, didn’t you? Matt asked.

“Yeah I been up here a couple of times” replied Connor.

“Matt what’s going on?” Asked Connor “I just need to understand” he added.

“I told my dad Connor.” Matt said

“Oh, how did that go” Asked Connor.

“Well he threw me out, but not before he tried to beat me to death and called me every name in the book. He even told me he wished that I’d get AIDS and die.” Matt said and he started to cry. “My own father Stevens, he called me a dirty stinking faggot”

“I’m sorry Matt. I really am” Connor said.

“My life is over Stevens, there is no point, I **can’t go on** ” Matt said.

“Don’t say that Matt. It’s not over. There are people who can help, people who care about you. I’m here, I will help you” said Connor.

“The best thing you can do is to live and chase all your dreams and have a good life and make him eat his fucking words” Connor said as he started crying again.

“Please don’t do this Matt, don’t leave me and what about Andy, you’re gonna break his heart” Connor said through tears.

“Oh my God Andy, I love him so much. But he’s a great guy and cute as fuck, he’ll find somebody else and forget about me.” Matt said crying even more.

“I don’t want anybody else. I fucking want you, ok. You hear me.” That was Andy.

“What are you doing Matthew?” Andy asked.

“Andrew what are you do here?” asked Matt, surprised to see Andy.

“You wouldn’t answer my calls or my texts, so now I’m here, maybe you can tell me what’s going on” said Andy.

“It’s better this way. It’s just too much” Said Matt.

“Matthew, do you love me?” asked Andy.

“You know I do, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened in my pathetic life.” Replied Matt.

“Then how can you even think of doing this? Do you have any idea what it would be like for me? Please, you’re scaring me. Let’s just go down.” said Andy.

“You said we were in this together, no matter what” added Andy.

“Oh baby, I can’t, I’m sorry” said Matt.

“Ok, Matthew, since this is what you want and I **can’t go on** without you. Let’s do it together, no matter what.” Said Andy.

With that, he started climbing over the guard rail.

“Andy what are you doing?” Yelled Connor.

“Andrew what are you doing. No. Don’t, it’s dangerous. Please, please go back” pleaded Matt.

Andy kept climbing over the rail, he was making his way to the ledge.

“Ok. Ok, I’ll come back over. Please go back” Matt begged.

“I’m not going back without you” said Andy, now himself crying.

“Ok, see I’m going back” Matt said as he made his way from the ledge and started Climbing back over the guard rail.

“Andy please, climb back over. See, I’m over, I’m over.” Pleaded Matt as he climbed over and into Connor’s waiting arms. “Connor tell him I’m over.” Begged Matt.

“I got him Andy” said Connor.

Andy climbed back over the rail and stood there shaking, looking at Matt.

Matt walked over to him, but Andy did not move, he just stood there, shaking. His chest heaving up and down heavily, he was breathing from his mouth. He looked down at Matt with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Baby please say something, say anything, be mad at me. I’m sorry. I was being selfish.” Said Matt, as he hugged Andy.

Andy’s arms slowly came up and hugged him back and the two boys stood there crying in each other’s arms.

“You can never do that to me again” said Andy. “Do you understand?”

“I won’t, I promise. I never want to see that look on your face again.” Said Matt “Let’s get down from here.”

Off in the distance they heard sirens and saw flashing lights heading their direction.

All three boys were safely down from the tower and Steph, Jude and two cops in the patrol car were waiting for them.

Jude ran to Connor and hugged him tightly.

“I was so scared” said Jude.

“I’m fine, stop worrying” said Connor.

“I couldn’t help it” said Jude.

Steph was taking to Matt and Andy.

“Ok we need to contact your parents” said Steph to Matt.

“No. no, I can’t go home” Said Matt.

“Why not, we have to notify your parents and maybe take you to the hospital for those bruises and lumps on your face” said Steph.

“I don’t need to go to the hospital” Said Matt.

Connor walked over and said “Matt this is Jude’s mom. She a police officer, she can help.”

“Jude’s mom? She not the Assistant Principal” Said Matt puzzled.

“She’s Jude’s other mom. He has two” replied Connor.

Connor turned to Steph and said “Matt came out to his father, He beat him up and put him out.”

“Why didn’t you tell me or answer when I tried to reach you?” said Andy.

“Is that true Matt. When did this happen?” Asked Steph.

“Yesterday” Matt said as he shook his head.

“Where did you sleep last night Matthew?” asked Andy.

“On our bench by the beach” Matt replied.

“Have you eaten?” asked Steph.

“Yeah, I have some money, I ate Pizza” replied Matt.

“Why didn’t you call me or Andy?” Asked Connor.

“I was embarrassed and scared.” Matt replied.

“How old are you? Where’s your mom?” Asked Steph.

“I’m almost fifteen. My mom died when I was nine. She was very sick.” Replied Matt.

“So much has happened already tonight. I’m taking you to my house, get you cleaned up, fed and rested. Tomorrow we start to sort this out. Don’t fret love, I’m going to see you through this.” Said Steph.

There was a storm brewing inside her, she was angry but she tried not to show it. Not in front of the boys.

“Can he stay my house tonight… please?” Asked Andy. “I’ll make sure he’s at your house first thing tomorrow.”

“Will your folks be ok with that?” Asked Steph.

“They will be” Said Andy.

“How did you get here Andy?” asked Connor.

“I rode my bike, I don’t live far” replied Andy.

“ And you Matt?” Asked Connor.

“My bike is somewhere over there.” Replied Matt.

“Ok let’s get the bikes in the trunk” Said Steph. “It’s time to go home.”

 

************************************************************ 

 

After the bikes are stowed and Steph talked to other officers that came out to the fair ground, everybody is in the car heading home.

Jude is in the passenger front seat. In the back, the other three boys. Matt is sitting in the middle of Connor and Andy. He is leaned into Andy with his head resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Andy has one arm draped over Matt and his head resting on Matt’s. His other hand holding one of Matt’s. Matt’s other hand is interlocked with one of Connor’s.

Jude is wishing he was sitting back there with them so he could hold Connor. He could tell by the look on Connor’s face that there was a lot going on inside him. He wanted to do nothing more than comfort the boy with worry on his face.

Andy opens the front door of his house and leads his friend inside by the hand. He knows his mom and dad will be waiting, wanting an explanation. Why did he run out so suddenly, why was he not answering his phone? And they would have an even more pressing question.

“Andrew what’s going on, where have you been? We’ve been worried sick” Said Paola Yamotto, his mom, as she rushes to the door with Augustus Yamotto, his dad, in tow.

Paola stops short as she sees that her son is not alone. He is holding someone’s hand. She quickly notices how the fingers are interlocked as if the hands belong together.

She looks at the boy. His battered face is remarkably handsome. And his eyes, intense and beautiful but so immensely sad. What could make someone so young so sad she wonders?

“Mom, dad, this is the boy I told you about. This is Matthew, my boyfriend” she hears her son Andrew say.


	21. Where You Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is home where they belong

Paola Yamotto walks quietly into the dimly lit family den. She sees sneakers strewn all over the floor, two pairs. She picks them up and arranges them neatly beside the couch. She doesn’t care for mess or clutter. She sits quietly in one of the side chairs and watches the bodies in the dim light. On the couch, the handsome boy with beautiful, sad eyes. Covered under a throw and sleeping soundly. On the floor along-side the couch, a tall frame she knows so well. A frame she’s watched growing for just over fourteen years now. The boy was on his back with a cushion as his pillow. He too was sleeping soundly. A tear rolls down her cheek . She’s not really sad, she more afraid. Afraid of what the world may have in store for her son, knowing she won’t always be there to protect him. She’s worried but she can’t help but feel proud of her son’s defiance in his fight for love. Her son, Andrew, sleeping on his back, his arm extended upward to the couch. The boy with the beautiful eyes, the object of his affection, sleeps soundly with Andrew’s open palm as his pillow. His arm draped down from the couch, his open hand resting on Andrew’s chest , right over his heart. Maybe the rhythm of heart beats and of Andrew’s breathing helped to lull him to sleep and the warm hand under his face made him feel safe, surrounded by love and wanted. How could someone do this to their own child she wonders? But for tonight, even if it’s only just for tonight, he’s somewhere he is loved, he is where he belongs.

Connor Stevens walks into the house he calls home. He’s feeling numb and drained from everything that has happened tonight. He had just said goodnight to the boy he loves. And who loves him back. Now he’s home and it feels good to come home to someone who loves him too. He sees his father standing there, asking him something but it doesn’t quite register. He rushes by him and heads up the stairs. He wants to lose himself in his bed. Maybe talk to the boy whose voice is like music to his ears until he falls asleep. He stops half way up the stairs. He turns around and rushes back down running right into Adam Stevens, his father. He throws his arm around his dad and buries his face in his chest. He feels his father return the embrace and he knows, he’s right where he belongs.

Jude walks into to the Adams-Foster residence, his mom Stef right behind him. As he enters all the Adams-Fosters are waiting for him. Momma Lena rushes up to him and hugs he so tight it almost cut off his breath. Then his sister Mariana and then his brother Brandon each hugging him tightly. His sister Callie hugs him and ruffles his hair like she always does. He hears someone call his name, he looks and see Jesus coming down the stairs. He runs into his brother's arms and then it all breaks loose. Everything he was holding inside, everything that happened tonight came flooding out in tears, his slender shoulders quaking with each sob. Compared to Matt and even Connor, he had it so lucky, so good. He had a family that loved and accepted him for who was. He realized that so much now with Jesus's strong arms holding him close. He had said goodnight to Connor moments ago and watched the boy he loves walk into his house. They'll talk later. Now he was home and he needed the arms of the brother who gets him best

“It’s ok Jude, you’re home now, you’re right where you belong.”

**************************************************

“It's not where you come from

It's where you belong

Nothin' I would trade

I wouldn't have it any other way

You're surrounded

By love and you're wanted

So never feel alone

You are home with me

Right where you belong” –Kim Kimmel

 ***** Please leave comments, questions and suggestions. Kudos are nice too**.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope the readers like the way "Now That We Are What We Are" wraps up. The new season starts soon, it's time to let the professionals feed the fire/hunger.  
> I also hope that somewhere in this fantasy of mine there was entertainment and someone found/finds help/education.  
> Thanks to all the readers for your comments and kudos –  
> Jonnor 4ever – brkhrt12
> 
> *** I will post a one shot spin off on Jesus and Miguel soon. It will not be a story from the past. It will be present day just before Jesus goes off to boarding school. Miguel comes home from college and pays Jesus a visit. “Just one more time” will debut shortly.
> 
> “You know I could never get enough of you “said Miguel.  
> Jesus could feel the heat from the six foot two, two hundred pound muscled from baseball body, that almost has him pinned on the wall. He dared not look into the eyes of the greek god that Miguel had grown into.  
> “Please Miguel” he says. “I’m past that now.” But, he can feel his body begging to differ.  
> “Just one more time… please. I thought I was past it too” said Miguel


End file.
